Husband says motherhood is easy & every mother has risen a child so it can’t be hard, crack on

[Jobutr]

Recently during a fight, DH said that motherhood is easy, that our boy is chilled and calm, that he sees what we do all that, and that it’s easy and I make it sound harder than it is. He says all mothers do it so crack on with it.
for context, our boy is 5 months and fully breastfed, i do all the nights (baby wakes every 2 h max), put down boy for all his 3 naps (one in pram and 2 in carrier so no sleep for me) and take care of him day to day, make sure he exercises, is played with, changed, talked to, well taken care of. Both families live abroad so no family help.
He’s chilled and calm because he gets all his naps and has a lot of face to face play and contact.
I love taking care of our boy, I don’t complain. I just want to be valued for all the work sometimes. It feels a bit hurtful to feel like motherhood isn’t valued and that it’s so easy to raise a baby, by someone who doesn’t do much alone time with the baby.
Am I exaggerating? Is it so easy? Would you want your partner to be supportive?

How about a long weekend once weaning starts?

And what's with "motherhood"?
Is he happy to have nothing to do with the care of his own child?

If someone said that to me after I'd been up every two hours all night with the baby they'd be dead.

So glad this twat is your ex.

This needs to be repeated because it is The Truth -
When a man does not inherently value parenting, he will never see you as his equal.

This

Point taken, and you're right, I'm sorry.

Exactly. Don't fall into the same criticising trap as your husband....

... Having said that, your fella's a div, you're doing fabulously. He's wrong.

It is easy looking after a baby whilst on mat leave. It gets harder when back at work. Parenting teens is worse ...

Of course it isn't easy. Your husband doesn't have a clue unfortunately and YANBU at all to want some support.

@Treeinthesky surely that depends on the baby

Um what
Not all mothers raise their kids well or even at all
He needs a reality check. Burst that bubble pronto I say.

I found the 4/5 month mark quite hard with both mine. You’re both tired, and honestly, probably quite bored and fed up. It’s this sort of dead time where they don’t need newborn care but aren’t doing much interesting. It’ll pass

Where’s this come for the early months are incredibly hard and none of us are at our best

hows things in general

When he said that, he's not really saying anything about you, he's saying something about him self, but communicating it in a really damaging way.
Ignore what he's ostensibly saying about you and ask him to talk about his feelings not what you are doing. And then ask if he wants to know about how you're feeling.
You can always do it written down instead of face to face.
I think in the heat of small children communication falls down, and none of this kind of rubbish can survive communication, so try to get that open.
Hope you can work it out!

He works so an hour in the mornings Friday-Monday and some evening time before I put the little guy to bed at 9ish pm

Thank you, this is a really good idea. I really hope we can.

@Jobutr what does DH do at the weekend?