Hi - overview. Last 3 or so years ex has been living with his parents and sharing kids basically 50/50. initially I thought this would be temporary until he sorted something out. It’s about 25 mins drive from my home/kids school. the room the kids share is the smallest room in a 3 bed Victorian terraced house. Son age 14, autistic daughter age 10 (11 this year). He has a double bedroom there. Although it pisses me off that he hasn’t pulled his finger out to provide a home for his children nearer their school to make their lives easier, I also think it’s not any of my business to an extent as long as they’re safe.
recently I saw a picture on my daughters phone that she took in that bedroom and it’s basically a dump, filled with stuff that’s not even theirs, it’s a small room and they’re opposite sex, one’s a teenager and one’s autistic. Really not ideal situation.
context: he earns over £60k a year, doesn’t pay maintenance (by agreement with me) and hasn’t paid the mortgage in over 5 years. Him not paying the mortgage is the reason for us splitting up as I found out he has £50k of debt (stole some of it from his employer!) In the past 5 years he’s made no effort to reduce the debt or provide a suitable home for our children as he’d rather carry on living a fun life drinking and going on lads holidays. (He’s 40 this year)
do I have any right to say I think our disabled daughter and teenage son should have their own space at their home? And therefore have them with me? I actually enjoy shared custody so I’m not doing it maliciously but to me it’s a sign that he’s not taking his responsibilities seriously. I’m giving him plenty of time to sort himself out. We don’t have any formal arrangement through the courts, it’s pretty amicable as long as I don’t actually talk about anything serious