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I feel so bad

3 replies

Mt726 · 15/02/2025 20:33

I feel so terrible for the way my family dynamics are. I am completely burnt out. My relationship with my husband is horrible. My kids at 8 and 11 and things are so chaotic. I am the bad guy in the family, always ruining everyone’s fun by trying to get to bed at a decent hour and eat semi healthy. The last year or so I’ve kind of given up. They now spent so much time playing video games or on other devices. They are involved in sports but once we come home from that, they are glued to the devices I’d say 85% of the time. It causes major fights between my husband and I. The kids don’t have any regular chores. Our house is a mess and it gives me so much anxiety. Then I get to a point where I just throw my hand up and say, F it. No one else cares, why should I stress myself about it. But then when I ignore it, it eats at me. I’m angry and resentful. I want to live a healthy and productive life and living in this current household just makes me want to give up myself. Makes getting up and doing my work out, eating my healthy meals, so so so much harder. I want my husbands to want to be better, so we can be a team. He says he does, and he will do the things, but he doesn’t. He rarely does what he says he will do. I have no one to talk to. I know I need to get into some therapy but that takes some executive functioning skills that I am struggling with right now. Can anyone relate? Do you have any advice? Did you make it through this? I fear that I won’t have a good relationship with my kids when they are older and adults bc currently I’m the mad and overwhelmed mom. I prefer to be alone. This is not the normal me. I used to be a fun mom who loved being with my kids. I dread the weekends now. Please be nice. 😪

OP posts:
VictoriaMum323 · 15/02/2025 20:37

@Mt726 I do have sympathy but it’s not clear what’s being done to help the situation. have you actually taken away the devices and removed the less healthy food? Can you afford a cleaner?

MumChp · 15/02/2025 20:39

You can't spend your life like this.
I would ask my husband for couples counseling and try to find a way back to respect and cooperation. Work together as a couple and as a family.
If not I would start arranging for a life for myself.

Don't blame yourself. Sometimes things are just sh*t. I hope you can get yourself out of it.

Cheepcheepcheep · 15/02/2025 20:42

Right, I’m going to hit the MN bingo now, but -

Any chance it’s perimenopause?
you sound quite depressed. While it’s understandable in context, things can help. Have you considered ADs as a stepping stone to getting things sorted?
Do you have any genuinely happy moments with kids, your OH?
If you could pick one thing that would fix it, what would that be? It’s hard to overhaul your life, what would one good change look like?

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