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Parenting

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My sons dad not including him

2 replies

snowgate · 15/02/2025 08:25

Hope I have posted in the right place.

i share my 8 year old ds with my ex husband. My ex is engaged and he has two sons with her.. she wasn’t the ‘other woman’ as he met her a couple years after we separated and I live with my partner and his son who is the same age as my son. So i have moved on and not jealous of my ex before anyone says that.

what upsets me is that my son doesn’t seem to be included in his dads new family and it’s really upsetting for him. I also feel like my ex just can’t be bothered with him anymore and will make up any old excuse as to why he can’t have him, or will have to bring him home early, etc… the contact arrangement is EOW.

when my son comes home after being at his dads for the weekend, he says it’s been boring and they’ve done nothing and everything is based around his two little brothers and their interests etc. But then when he FaceTimed his dad the following weekend when he was at home with me, they were taking their two toddlers to a very well known soft play in our area which is slightly more expensive but it’s great for all ages. It’s my son’s favourite. So he said to me after the phone call why did they not invite me or why did they not do that last weekend when I was there? I tried to explain it’s not his dads weekend and that last weekend maybe they couldn’t go… but my son is clever and is starting to catch on things. That’s just one example but the most recent. Last summer they took their toddlers to Disneyland Paris and didn’t invite my son.. my son was upset and so I told my ex, he said my son wouldn’t have appreciated it and found it boring! They are also going abroad In may half term this year and again not invited my son. My ds cried to me and it broke my heart. They have only ever taken him abroad once but they seem to go at least once , sometimes twice a year with their toddlers. Why not invite my ds??? When I confronted my ex over this, he said well ds has two families, two opportunities to go on holiday, and his two younger sons only have one? But what message does this send to my son really? Me and my partner try our best but we can’t afford abroad holidays but we try to get to a caravan every year. My son is growing up a lot and starting to try and articulate his feelings a lot and he has said he feels left out of his dads life sometimes and that he is different from his two little brothers :(

has anyone got any advice or anyone been in this situation with their own child and their ex has a new family? How did it work and was your child fully included in the new family?

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 15/02/2025 08:30

Maybe point out to his dad that by favoring his younger children he is driving a wedge between him and his older child that the time will come where he votes with his feet

Ultimately you can do nothing it absolutely sucks though

I warned my ex and he doesn't see his children now tells everyone he has " no idea why" they are 16 and 12 they decided he CBA with us we CBA with him

MarshmallowFluf · 15/02/2025 17:01

wow what rubbish excuse what 8 year old wouldn't enjoy disneyland i would say they would appreciate it more than toddlers!

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