How to get child to be more gentle

[Viveladonut]

I have a very boisterous 2.5 year old daughter. She's tall for her age, currently in size 4-5 clothing. She shows affection through touch, hugs, climbing on me, tickling me etc. It's quite physical but it's alright for me as obviously I'm adult sized.

Recently I've become concerned around how she plays with other kids, after seeing her pounce on a child at softplay. The kids seemed oblivious but the other parent wasnt happy, understandably. Obviously I want to avoid this. I don't want her to end up being ostracised at nursery and beyond because of her size and the physicality of her playfulness. She doesn't go to nursery yet, so most of her interactions are with adults (me, her dad, and wider aunts and uncles), and then other kids at softplay once or twice a week.

How do I go about getting her to be more gentle? I don't want to end up crushing her spirit and playfulness, although maybe I'm overthinking it? I've already gotten her to stop hitting, pinching (which was a phase for her), and we're working on getting her to stop blowing raspberries on people. She's down to kisses and tickling people which is where I want her.

What shall I do?

I have the opposite a 4.5 year old that's the size of a 2-3 yo
The variance in size of 2 yo is a thing and they don't know their own strength. It comes with time and being around other children. My daughter was hurt a little by some of the bigger kids in the nursery but in the grand scheme of all the rough and tumble that 2 years old do it was barely noticed. I explained to my daughter that some of the bigger kids don't know their own strength and didn't mean their actions. Although between the trips and falls and the one kid that repeatedly physically hurt my daughter the kid that knocked her over if they accidentally collided or gave a too firm hug didn't cause that much trouble!

Thank you! That was a very gentle reply, I was expecting harsher. Makes sense - hopefully she'll get there in terms of being more gentle with the right nudges from us.

“I don't want her to end up being ostracised at nursery and beyond because of her size and the physicality of her playfulness.”

you are only worried about your daughter not that she is potentially hurting and upsetting other children. She needs more interaction with other children, it’s sort of worrying she doesn’t see or play with children apart from 1-2 times a week. You need to be firm and explain that she can’t jump on or tickle children she doesn’t know. Doesn’t sound like she has any boundaries with others.

That's quite a leap to assume that I don't care about other children, on the basis of a few dozen words in my OP.

I do agree that she needs more interaction with kids though, and we're looking at a few nurseries to place her in for a few days a week.