Son hair pulling

[56brumm]

Hi,

Has any one got any advice on hair pulling. My son has been pulling eye lashes out for around a year and half from about 8 but he's now started on his hair on his head. He has a huge bald patch and hair all over the bathroom he's 10. We chatted about it he said he's not feeling anxious he does it when he's bored. Tends to do it in the bathroom.

He agreed to go to counselling and did speak to a counsellor at school but it's only now and again.

Im worried I'm a terrible parent and I've caused him destress and caused this.

I have ocd and anxiety I've managed pretty well high functioning but I'm worried Its all my fault.

I want to help him.

My dad committed suicide when o was a child and I'm always scared people I love will commit suicide I'm terrified he will get worse.

Any advice

Hi

Slightly different but my 2 (almost 3) year old does this.

I've looked at various reasons why she's done it which started when she was around 18 months old (sometimes she would wrap hair so tightly round her finger it would cut circulation off then pull) and there isn't anything necessarily clear.

Some patterns my husband and I have noticed:

• seems to be done more when tired
• seems to be completely subconscious ie when we catch her doing it, we tell her off and she jumps a mile in the air.
• it does increase when things are a little more stressful at home and particularly when I her primary caregiver are more anxious ie she had stopped for a while but has picked it up the last few weeks again when my elderly grandfather has been in hospital with terminal cancer which coincided with me returning to work after my second maternity leave. I don't think I'm outwardly anxious in signs she would have noticed but she's picked up on it I think. (I also have high functioning anxiety and so do her grandparents on my side)

I have tried looking for advice from my health visitor for reasons why etc and despite her asking around colleagues, no one really knows. I have also suggested to her could my daughter be autistic (she exhibits no pain generally) and she has said too early to tell.

Obviously we can't speak to her to get her reasons for doing it, but just wanted to share my experience of it.

Also should have said in line with your son's comment on boredom, she does do it at times like that too ie in back of the car, or when just sitting watching tv and never when she's doing an activity she's running about in etc.

I do this and whilst it’s worse when I’m anxious/ stressed it also just sometimes flares up for no reason. It’s called trichotilomania, an impulse control disorder

CBT can help, go and see the GP.

But don’t catastrophise about suicide, it’s a habit that can be broken, and he needs help to do that. On its own it’s not anything too serious. I do have ADHD and it might be part of that for me, the not being able to sit still. If that might be a possibility with him?

Thank you for your help fingers crossed I can get him some help x

I’ve done this all my life. I had massive bald patches as a teenager, but it has lessened as I’ve got older. I think in my case it is linked to anxiety but I have never ever felt suicidal or even close to it. The two are absolutely not linked in my (limited) experience.
Maybe see if there’s an ELSA or other pastoral support at his school? He might want someone he can talk to if he’s feeling anxious.