Screen time reality

[Tree6543]

I know I know, this topic has been done to death. But I’m culling / potentially going cold turkey on screen time tomorrow.

Since the birth of DD2 2 months ago, DD1 (2.5 year old) has been watching too much tv. Partially due to getting into the swing of life with two, partially due to two back to back illnesses. I’ve started to see an impact on behaviour so tomorrow it changes.

She’s home four days a week, nursery three. On a home day she’s having an hour of tv first thing, an hour after lunch and an hour whilst I prep tea. On the nursery days, an hour whilst I prep tea.

My idea is, I will set out an activity the night before a non nursery day for the morning to help break the cycle. Magnatiles / colouring / dolls. Her normal toys but one chosen and set up. After lunch we will do books or tonie for quiet time (harder on me but fine!).

Evenings - do people allow this age to watch an hour during tea time prep / post nursery or if not, what works well at this time?

Our normal day is up, tv, out all morning at groups, lunch, tv, dog walk / park etc then tea, bath and bed so it is in between other activities but is way too much! It just happened.

Rotate toys
Do a toy box per day and label it by the day.

Let them learnt to play freely

I give an hour after nap/lunch time

Then I say children's telly is finished and put on something I want to watch

It has really helped development too

Keep them busy with 'helping' you around the house

That sounds like a good plan! Have same here relied on it more than hoped with second baby coming along and in order to prep dinner etc. Personally think it’s ok after nursery to chill whilst dinner is made (and we do a bit in the morning before too). But if see noticeable link to worse behaviour maybe not. Try not to be too hard on yourself though. We sometimes say it’s broken to break the habit for a few days!

Don’t feel guilty. Screen time happens to the best of us.🤣

Can dd listen to nursery rhymes with you say playing on your phone (no visuals) while you prep tea?

my dc1 played with saucepans and dry pasta on a blanket in the kitchen doorway while i prepped tea. I’d give her things to do “oh can you put pasta in this pot for me” so she thought she was cooking.

You are TOTALLY RIGHT about having something else today. Today, I knew dc2 would want to watch something in the 20mins I’m getting ready for my working day. So I left out a box of brio construction bricks that we often forget to play with and he just automatically played with that. No screen needed.

Toy rotation will help a lot.

My kids, who are adults now, didn't see any screens until they were much older, except occasionally at someone else's house, of course. You will get people saying that some screens are fine, a good way to relax, etc, but I think that learning to play independently and deal with boredom is wonderful. It encourages kids to actually play together, to enjoy reading, to do more artwork, to be imaginative and self-sufficient. I also think screens are not the best way to relax, can lead to grumpiness and a sense of futility at any age...

Those times when kids are a little bored and a little annoying are actually the opportunities for them to become more thoughtful and creative little creatures, and if parents don't have the option of screens, they are pushed into allowing more interesting types of interactions and play, including more reading of stories and more messy things. I think that is great- no real downside, as long as the parent is coping, which is their job and also a source of joy.

Thanks everyone. She’s actually really good at playing normally, it happened when she got ill and I had a newborn (DH works away three days in a row) and then we just slipped into it! I think I’ll cold turkey for a bit then maybe she can have some now and again without ramping back up fully - we’ll see how it goes. I also find it much easier in better weather when she will happily potter in the garden after nursery.

Oh and she doesn’t nap (hasn’t for months!) so that didn’t help 😂

Honestly, if you’re seeing a negative impact on behaviour and you’re confident it’s related to TV, I think you’re right to cut it out completely for now. Just to allow for a proper reset. We had to do this with our DD (now 2.7 years) because it exacerbated her tantrums something awful! Same nursery pattern as yours. We did no TV at all for four months, and did what you’re planning with toy rotation. I would also suggest a Yoto or Tonie and getting her involved with household chores and dinner prep! 👍 It all really worked to improve DDs behaviour. She also went back to playing independently, especially imaginative role play. I hated how much of a zombie/demon TV created in her, so this was lovely to see.

I had DS 7 weeks ago and we’ve reintroduced the occasional movie on a rainy non-nursery afternoon. Winter is hard! But, no screens after 4.30pm ever. I don’t think it has the effect of calming them at this age; I think it’s actually the opposite and they’re totally overstimulated by it, hence the zombie behaviour. Not what you need for a smooth bedtime routine! We always watch together and while she enjoys movies, she’s not glued to them like she was with kids TV shows. She’ll wander off to play, and chat to us about what’s happening on screen (or something else entirely!) and she doesn’t beg for it, like she did with Duggee or Bluey the second we were in the house. I actually think those shows are pretty good educational resources but she just couldn’t handle the addictive quality of episodic TV at that time. I doubt we’ll go back to it at home anytime soon though because of DS.

Good luck!

Re the evenings, I've chilled out about letting my DD (3.5) watch TV after pre school. I've started walking/scooting home with her instead of picking her up in the car on the way home from work, we get back at about 5 and she watches her shows with a platter of fruit like lady muck while I cook dinner.

I've realised that when she's saturated from a day at nursery she can't really cope with independent play (plus the hanger!) and she just gets upset which then makes cooking a challenge. So I've just accepted it, then post dinner the TV is off and we play/read/have a bath/do some Tidying, that kind of thing.

On non pre school days we dont have the TV on at all though. I don't set her toys up anymore although I did when she was your DDs age, but I will leave a few things out for her to see and want to play with. Agree with getting her to help with dinner prep - we have a spice drawer and I get her to find the oregano for example by saying 'find me the green one with the 'o' on'. Or fetching me saucepans, set the table, pouring things in etc. She is my chief garlic crusher and egg breaker! And for some reason she absolutely loves emptying the dishwasher.

Also not sure if it's a girl thing (my 2 nephews were v different in this respect), but my DD can get very engrossed in role play for ages so since she's turned 3 we've had way more options because a lot of the things she plays with now were 3+, like her farm and sylvanian families/other little characters. Before 3 there wasn't a lot that could hold her attention for too long! Appreciate all kids are different though.

@TruffleMonkey

Re the evenings, I've chilled out about letting my DD (3.5) watch TV after pre school. I've started walking/scooting home with her instead of picking her up in the car on the way home from work, we get back at about 5 and she watches her shows with a platter of fruit like lady muck while I cook dinner.

I've realised that when she's saturated from a day at nursery she can't really cope with independent play (plus the hanger!) and she just gets upset which then makes cooking a challenge. So I've just accepted it, then post dinner the TV is off and we play/read/have a bath/do some Tidying, that kind of thing.

This is exactly us. We do the same, scoot home from nursery and by the time we're home he's exhausted. Fruit before dinner in front of the telly for an hour. Then bedtime routine.

On non-nursery days we do no TV in the morning and spend most of the day outdoors. Then same again, bit of telly in the evenings. Some days pass by without any at all. But I don't mind an hour or even two of an evening when they've been nothing but on the go all day long.

Also not sure if it's a girl thing (my 2 nephews were v different in this respect), but my DD can get very engrossed in role play for ages so since she's turned 3 we've had way more options because a lot of the things she plays with now were 3+, like her farm and sylvanian families/other little characters. Before 3 there wasn't a lot that could hold her attention for too long! Appreciate all kids are different though.

This is my son too! They sound very similar.

I think it's easier to avoid telly with children who like to play. Some children genuinely don't seem to know how to play. I don't know if that's just down to personality

Thought some of you may like an update. We have just reached the end of day 4 with no TV (she didn’t use any other screens anyway). It’s also half term here so no preschool.

The change in her is amazing! She’s already better behaved, talking more and playing more imaginatively. I thought my biggest issue would be trying to entertain her during those times I typically used it, but she has already begun to entertain herself. I thought she was good at all those things before (as I say, we did plenty of time out each day and playing, tv wasn’t all we did!!) but she’s even better now.

I have no idea when, or even if I’ll introduce some again. I am just doing to keep going with none for now and see what happens.

Thank you all for the motivation!

Amazing 👏🏻 well done OP!