Today I was that parent. I'm sorry.

[mylefthand]

My son's school called me this afternoon to pick him up. He is in Reception, not yet 5.
He has a dodgy tummy, had a rather nasty/messy accident.
I went along, with change of clothes and cleaned him up. Staff were amazing and trying to encourage him to do it but were quite relieved when I arrived. Obviously I took him home. Poor boy was absolutely mortified.
Anyway, as we left school, he said he'd done poo like that at Daddy's house this weekend.

Messaged ex to ask and he confirmed he had!
Why the hell did he not tell me?
So now I've sent my (possibly infectious) child in to school to share his germs!
I would have kept him home if I'd have known.

I am so sorry that I was that parent! It won't happen again.

Not your fault OP, but very unfair on your DS that his dad didn't bother to mention it! Hope he's feeling better soon.

But you weren't 'that parent' because you weren't fully informed by your ex.

Eh? No you weren't

Your poor little boy, your ex is disgusting

Clearly not your fault as you had no idea. Don’t be a martyr, OP. Nothing to do with you.

Shit happens

No, your ex is that parent

Indeed it does 😂

I wouldn't worry about it (and in fact remember this happening to me in first year!!). Don't fall out with his dad over it. I would be far more concerned if it was the other end.

Why are you apologising for your ex?

To total randoms on the internet no less

Poor little boy. But you aren't 'that parent', his dad is.

I wish people would bear this in mind when they send a child in with D&V. Maybe they don't care that it's likely to spread to other kids, but they're also setting their own child up to have a similarly distressing experience.

I'm glad you could go and fetch him. Hope he's had lots of cuddles.

Not to mention the staff. Obviously working with young children may well involve some sick sometimes, but to send a child in who you know might vomit, without thinking about who has to clean it up (or thinking but not caring) is horrible.

But none of this is your fault OP.
Why did your ex not tell you? Because he didn't think it was important? Or because he didn't want to end up being the one looking after him if he was off school?

I thought the “it won’t happen again” was a bit OTT.

Don't quite get it... Does "that parent" post dramatic click bait headlines on forum posts?

Exactly. So disingenuous when people "apologise" for something they know was in no way their fault.

I think it’s a poor trait in a person. Fair enough if you’ve fucked up, but apologising for absolutely no reason (with added “it won’t happen again” like a child getting into trouble at school) is weird and makes me think they’re an attention seeker.

@Halycon

"Please forgive me absolute randos"

Also, it might happen again if your ex keeps lying so…

My kids dad does the same, he never tell me if they have been ill. Man is a joke.

Your poor boy. Don’t worry, you couldn’t have known. What an idiot your ex is. For what it’s worth my DS had similar in year 1, he totally forgot about it fairly quickly despite being mortified at the time.

There was no need to twist this story into a more light-hearted "that parent - my bad" one. It's a fairly minor event but one which has understandably rattled you a bit and you want to get it off your chest which is fine, and kind of what mn is for. If it was me though, I'd be telling it via a "what the fuck is wrong my my ex" rant. Don't take on responsibility for this op, this is on him and he should hear all about it... I hope your little boy is fully recovered and has forgotten all about it soon.

Thanks all.
I know this is on him. I still felt guilty even though I know it wasn't my fault!
Little one is fine, no repeat incidents, has been eating normally and he slept all night.
Is off school until Thursday now and I've had to take 2 days off work as well.

No reply from ex when I told him about having to pick him up! Not even to see how little one is or an offer of him taking time off work either (of course)!

The man is a complete joke!