21 month old inconsolable at bed time

[TA90]

HELP please - we have tried everything

For the past 3 weeks my 21 month old boy has been inconsolable at bed time, including hysterically crying, banging on his cot, screaming to the point of throwing up at times. It takes him 2 hours to calm down and doesn’t want to be held just wants to be out of the room and then eventually when calmed down he falls asleep on either myself or my husband.

we have had issues with his sleep in the past as he had colic as a young baby but went through sleep training etc and that worked well. None of those techniques are currently working and I am exhausted.

his sleep schedule is

7am wake up
12-2pm nap
7:30pm bed

we do all the right things bath bottle play no tv etc

any suggestions would be great

Probably too much sleep over a 24 hour period, try cutting the nap or moving bedtime later - it can take two weeks for the sleep pressure to build so don't just try a couple of days.

Similar age child and we do 8pm bedtime, 7am wake with around an hour nap. Even then we're just starting to need to either move bedtime later or reduce nap further as they just aren't ready for bed at 8pm.

5 and a half hour wake window before bed is short..apart from that I can't say, one of mine didn't nap at all at that age..unless you're really sure the nap is needed change it but def bring bedtime later

Children vary. One of mine hated a cot. I think the problem is it's a prison and they panic, thinking they can't get to you if they need to for reassurance etc. Baby animals need access to their parents so do humans.

I put my daughter on a single mattress on the floor from 1 (or maybe before as soon as she was mobile certainly) and she was fine. Never fell out etc.

She occasionally used to pop her head round the door of our bedroom to check if we were there then went back (or not) according to her need.

I'd either move the night sleep 30 mins late or cut the nap at 1h30min.

Nap is a bit long, maybe cut it or move it earlier. The sleep training has probably made him develop a negative association with being abandoned in his cot alone (from his perspective). I'd consider moving to a floor bed now tbh.

It does seem quite obvious to me from his reaction that he's scared of the cot.