Split nights coming back… 2.3 years old

[ecossegirl91]

Background - toddler had awful split nights from 12-17m but we managed to get rid of them with lots of routine tweaks and being strict eg getting him up at 6.45am, sleeping around 8pm and at that time a 90 min nap 12-1.30pm. We were always told that 9 times out of 10 split nights are due to too much sleep or trying to make kids sleep too much overnight and not enough sleep pressure. We were told to think of sleep pressure like a fuel tank - wake up full, depletes during the day and the nap tops it up but you want an empty tank by bedtime to keep them asleep all night. Anyway, I digress… we’ve had him sleeping all this time and whenever we felt bedtime was getting later/harder we cut the nap in 15 min increments and just before Xmas we cut it down to 45mins which is where it’s remained.

but over the last fortnight or so the split nights are back with him awake 2-4.30am and it doesn’t help that during the good sleep times I got pregnant again , now around 20 weeks.

I don’t think the nap is ready to go as he’s so shattered for it come midday/12.30 and falls asleep within 5-10mins.

is this a phase that will sort itself with no routine changes? Or what do I do? I’d be fine if he slept 8-6 and then a 45 mins nap which doesn’t seem like too much for his age? Or does he need more sleep? I’m not sure offering more day sleep is right either… help 🤣

Anyone? As you can tell by the time we are awake 🥲

I'd try dropping the name. We were exactly the same. My daughter dropped her name much sooner than my son did because it was just messing up the nights too much.

I also sort her going to sleep, by herself instead of with me there, which fixed her repeated night wakings too. But the nap was the thing for the split nights.

She just goes to bed early now, by 6:30, and will do 11.5/12 hrs overnight. If we go in the car during the day she will fall asleep so keeping trips close to home until she adjusts

I also second dropping the nap. My oldest dropped the nap at 2 years and started sleeping 6pm to 7/8am straight through. Before she had split nights while she was still napping.

Yep, there's this really tricky period where they still sort of need the day nap but if they get it, your night routine goes out of the window! We try to skip the day nap and just have a bit of quiet reading/play after lunch. Sometimes DS just falls asleep (then we wake him after 40minutes) but most days we manage to get him through to bedtime at 7pm and he goes down fairly easily.
On days where he sneaks a nap, he's still awake at 9pm driving me crazy!

I was nervous the advice would be nap dropping, he seems like he needs it still and he’s going to be so so grumpy 😅👀 but we do need the nights fixed!

It's probably either drop the nap or 9pm bedtime (temporarily!).

I feel your pain, I'm in a similar place and also in denial...

Yep it's nap dropping, sorry. Similar place with my little one x

I’d also drop the nap. My 2 year old would still nap given the opportunity but if he even has ten minutes it’s a horrible split night or a very late bed time. If you drop it you will probably find stamina builds up with the split nights going away. Mine hasn’t napped for about six months now and it’s much much better. I feel your pain, it’s brutal!

Drop the nap or shorten it to 20m if you can't keep him awake.

We survived this period by dropping the nap at home but DD still had a nap at nursery on the days she was there (Tues, Wed, Fri) and would often fall asleep in the car at the weekend if we did a journey of 30 mins or more, as we often did on one of the days. That seemed to mean she could manage without a nap on the other days.

@roselilylavender thats good to know - he’s does 3 full days Tue wed and Thur and they limit him to 45m. I wonder if he kept those and dropped the others it would help…