DS is my second child and is very different to my first. I know that toddlers can be challenging but I am querying whether he might be ND. He doesn't strike me as autistic, and I don't know enough about how ADHD might present in a child this young.
Guess I'm just looking for advice from those who might have seen or experienced similar.
Background
- 22 months old
- straight forward pregnancy and elective c section
- from about 2 weeks stated screaming and didn't stop screaming during waking hours until about 6 months, which then turned to whining every waking moment. Medical causes thoroughly explored and ended up cows milk free (no real evidence that he is allergic, but we were willing to try anything 😂).
- sleep always hard, had to be 'forcefully' rocked to sleep as a baby.
- met all physical milestones.
- speech is probably about spot on average for his age. However DD was delayed so I'm not the best judge. As an example he is putting together two words, and sings nursery rhymes, and counts to 10.
- good eye contact, loves playing with children (when he's in a good mood), eats well and a wide variety, smiles/laughs/plays (again, when he's in a good mood).
Things that concern me and I would appreciate advice on-
- He doesn't hate life all the time anymore... but sometimes he really does. We have days where he just can't seem to cope with life. For example I was asked to collect him from nursery early this week because he was just so upset- despite no obvious cause. Think he was crying for an hour when they called me. Got home and he was absolutely fine (and suspect he would have snapped out of it at nursery too).
- hates the pram (always has) and sometimes will just scream, despite all attempts at distraction. Variable in the car seat.
- Sometimes he has such moments of anger, particularly if he's been told no, where he goes on an absolute rampage. Trying to pull over furniture, throwing things, hitting people. These are short lived but intense!
- Currently just says 'no' to everything.
- very limited ability to do anything by himself, wants an adult (preferably me) with him at all times.
- Sleep has always been bad. We did Ferber for a long time but he never actually got it, and the crying never really stopped - so eventually I felt that he just isn't sleep trainable. So now I have to sit by his cot for an hour at bedtime, and then after a few hours when he wakes up we cosleep. This is the method that brings the least tears but it means that I only get 1-2 hours in the evening once he's asleep, before he 'needs' me again. I can't face the screaming that sleep training would entail.
In short, he is just the least laid back baby that I have ever come across, and feels his emotions so strongly.
When I type those out I think they probably read as within the realm of normal toddler behaviour? My DD7 was just such a dream at this age, that this has taken me by such surprise.
Nursery haven't realised any specific concerns. He took a long time to settle and still has random days where he is much less settled, without an obvious cause. Their reports often say that he is 'emotional' and they are trying to work on his 'self soothing skills'.
Just wondered if anyone had any thoughts or suggestions. Life is feeling hard right now.
Thank you.