3 yr old not asking for toilet when at childminders

[Shivs1974]

Hoping someone can help....my 3 yr old dd has been toilet trained for just over a year. She's always been good at telling me at home & when we're out and about that she needs to go. However she has always point blankly refused to ask at the childminders and has always had to be prompted. She has been refusing to drink any fluids when she is there and that is obviously a concern as it's getting warmer.
Yesterday the c/m put her in a nappy and she was so upset. I tried the whole reward thing today - have a sticker if you come home & I'm told you've asked - and she was all up for it. C/M has just called and said that she just weed on the floor....
Any suggestions what to do? I really feel for my little poppet but I don't know where to go...

There must be something she doesn't like about the cm's bathroom / loo? Do you have a special seat and the cm doesn't?

I had thought about that too but there isn't. The only thing is that the loo roll sits on the edge of our bath but at the cm's, it in a proper holder. But apart from that everything's the same. Sometimes you just wish children came with an instruction manual so you could work out what is bothering them....

I know! I've just got our 3yo DS to do toilet training - I had nearly given up hope, then he got the hang of it in about two days with no accidents so far (two weeks)! They are incomprehensible ....

I have this too with my ds at playgroup. But as that is only for 3 hours a day he is usually ok to wait til we get home.

But what on earth is the c/m doing putting a nappy on her????? If she has to prompt her to go to the loo so be it - surely she should have an idea to take her to the toilet every few hours (or however long your dd usually goes)?

I know, I know....she seems to feel that she should be independent and shouldn't need prompting. We occasionally end up discussing that she isn't in her home environment when she's there & I think it's fairly normal. Since my original post it all went v pearshaped. She weed in the sticklebricks whilst cm was on phone to me & fell over. Ended up doing another 3 wees during the day. Just hoping that she's okay on Monday. She will be going to nursery in Sept but I'm hoping they'll be able to take her earlier.....think a change of scene is what she really needs - and a more relaxed approach.

Def think you need to have more words with your c/m. Seems tad too strange to me. Has she been with her for long?

Surely its normal for accidents to happen, especially if they are not being encouraged to 'go'? Although to be fair i have to force ds to go (no violence, honest!!!) - he always says he doesn't need it!!

It would be good to get a c/m POV on this so bumping for you.

Hope all goes well with nursery, sure she will love it x

Oh, and tell your C/M no nappies under any circumstances

Thank you...I made her go at the c/m house this morning - so fingers crossed it goes better today....I just really feel for her. I did tell cm that there were to be no nappies at all..

How is your dd doing at c/m this week shivs?

Thank you for asking.....I asked her to go as soon as we got there Mon & Tues but the cm asked me not to do that in future. She has taken herself off once on both days but needed prompting yesterday. So far no accidents...
Spoke to the nursery and they can give her full days on Tues & Thurs but that leaves me with Mon & Wed to find childcare. I'm assuming that the cm will say that she won't want to have her for 2 days. We don't have family nearby (2hrs is the nearest) and most friends work. We only need it for 6 wks (until dh is off for the summer - he's a teacher) - so I don't know what to do. I'm going to ask the cm whether she would have her for just 2 days and if not, I guess I'll have to turn those days down at nursery. All in all a bit of a nightmare!