Nursery 18 months old

[Missguidedsmiles]

UK)
My son just turned 18 months old, and I feel like it's too soon to send him to nursery. My mother-in-law is really pushing me to put him in, but I'm not ready for that yet. I'd prefer to spend one-on-one time with him instead of having him in a class full of kids. I'm fine with taking him to toddler groups, but nursery feels like it's a bit much right now. She tends to be very pushy and often looks down on people who don’t follow what she thinks is best, and I find it stressful.

Do whatever feels right for you. People will always judge you whatever you do!

You have to do whatever feels right for you, however as someone who put her DS in nursery for two full days a week from 11 months as I returned to work, I can say they get a lot out of it. He's 15 months and thriving there and loves going. He gets to do all sorts of stuff there that I'm not prepared to always do at home (different types of messy play etc.). Also when they are smaller is not really a 'class full of kids' feel, there are about 5 key workers in my son's class and they have 3 kids assigned to them each, so only 15 in total in a day (if they are full). As they get older the kid to key worker ratio gets bigger so the room sizes then get bigger.

Obviously do what feels best for you, but wanted to provide a positive experience from someone who put their child in at a younger age. :)

@Sagittarius25 are you in the UK? I'm not currently working at the moment, do you know the entitlements for toddler ages for nursery?

You're absolutely right. All research points to one-to-one care being best for small children. He doesn't need nursery.

Nod and smile at MIL and then ignore her and do whatever you want.

Just do whatever feels right for you, you know your little one best! If it's any reassurance if you do choose nursery, my 14 month old adores it! He belly laughs as soon as he sees the gate 😂 they do a million things there that I don't have the resources for at home and he absolutely loves playing with other children

Ignore what your mil has to say. She had her day raising her kids as she chose, it's your turn now so you must do exactly as you feel comfortable with, for both you and lo. It's absolutely nothing to do with her and your dh needs to be backing you up in telling her to keep her opinions to herself. Imo 18 months is too young but there'll be a brigade of others along in a moment to tell you about all the benefits of it and how the socialisation is better than anything you can offer at home... Ultimately your must do what feels right for you and your lo, nobody else.

I'd do whatever feels right to you.

I have to put my children in nursery as I work. If I didn't have to work I wouldn't put them in so much - I would for a bit though. My DS class at school was 90% from his nursery so settling at school was alot easier.

Ignore her. There’s no real benefits to nursery for 18 month olds I don’t think. My middle child started at 16 months and that was 100% for my benefit 😂 he had a fine time but at that age they just want to be at home with their parents.

So, ignore MIL, do what you want and trust yourself.

Your child, your decision! One to one care is the most beneficial at that age, particularly if they attend toddler groups. Personally I'm planning on sending my DC to nursery at 2. I am lucky to have family childcare at the moment.

@Missguidedsmiles yes I'm in the UK. My DS currently does two 10.5 hour days a week, and is eligible for the 15 hours of free funding. When this is averaged out to 51 weeks a year it's 11 hours free a week. (when they say 15 hours, this means term time only, so you have to average it out to the 51 weeks a year they are open) So we currently get one day a week for free and pay the other. in Sept 2025 this 15 hours is changing to 30 hours, so the funded hours are increasing.

Obviously as DS enjoys it I am one of the people who will be positive about it and tell you he enjoys it etc. I'm not naive to the fact he doesn't actually socialise or play with others properly yet as that doesn't developmentally start to happen until around 2 years old. But he does get to enjoy lots of things I can't do at home, and his time apart from me and DH and then getting picked up at the end of the day does reinforce his knowledge that mummy and daddy always come back etc.

But also I had to return to work, we had no choice, so nursery is a non-negotiable in our family. We are lucky DS has settled so well where we have chosen, we love the nursery and if you chose to put them in nursery it's important you find somewhere you 100% love.

@pearbottomjeans @NuffSaidSam @Sagittarius25 @TuesdayRubies @Hellohowareyou112 @SJM1988 @MaltipooMama @Commonsenseisnotsocommon

Thankyou lovelys, made me feel a lot better! Il defo look into it when he's a bit older, but il try my best to go to toddler groups! ♡

Definitely just do whatever is right for you and whatever is most comfortable! As I said I'm very lucky that my little one has taken to nursery to well and is visibly happy there, but on the flip side if I could afford to take a sabbatical from work and extend my one on one time with him it would be a no brainer! They're only little once and no one wants to look back and wish they'd done it differently, especially if it's a result of pressure from an outside influence!

If you're not working then he'll get 15 hours from the term after his 3rd birthday.

If both parents work a minimum of 16 hours then he'll get 30 hours from September 2025.

It’s completely up to you what you want to do. I don’t want to say this to sound mean, but when you have a little one you’ve got to learn to let comments roll off you and not take things to heart.
I think even if I didn’t have to work I’d still like
to put the LO into nursery for a day or 2 or even half days just to have a bit of time to myself.