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Advice needed

4 replies

Pineapplelady1 · 07/02/2025 08:24

Me and my partner have his daughter every other weekend. We work shifts which means when ever he has an 'early' shift he also picks her up from school and takes her for tea. His daughter lives 30 miles away or we would obviously have her over night during the week too. Due to his shifts we always pre-book the pick up dates after school in a shared a calender. He works 1/5 weekends too which I don't so I am available to have her on the 3 weekends of the year that work falls on the weekend we have her.

His ex keeps pushing to say she should stay on another weekend when he isnt working and the time shouldn't be spent with me. During the holidays they split the time too. He also pays £420 in maintenance due to the lesser value of being able to have her over night during the week. It wouldn't be fair to wake her at 4:30 to take her home for school and for him to go to work thereafter during the week.

This has been going on for three years and I've had enough of the dictatorship and her making my husband feel like shit. I am also expecting and petrified of her knowing because I know the stress and pressure she will bring on us and SD. We also know SD stays at her uncles every Friday and this main is not allowed unsupervised visits with his own child and there's nothing we can do about it! Please can you give me some kind advice before we get mediation/ family solicitor help.

The length of messages we receive is horrendous, this is from a woman who made me wait six months to meet SD but happily introduced her other half after two weeks. It has gone from not staying to her wanting her daughter out of her house when ever she can.

OP posts:
Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 07/02/2025 12:30

You absolutely can report to ss that dsd is staying with her uncle.

username299 · 07/02/2025 12:38

First you can report the dodgy uncle to social services.

Second I don't really understand what's going on. Is she sending really long messages asking for your partner to take her on an extra weekend? For three years? She's certainly tenacious.

Tell your partner to download a co-parenting app because all communication is recorded. He can just say he's not going to take her on the extra weekend and refuse to discuss it further.

He can get the child contact arranged via court if she is threatening to withold contact. I don't know why you have his daughter when he's not there but assume you're happy with that arrangement.

You can contact Rights of Women for free legal advice and they have a good website with lots of information. Gingerbread have a good helpline as well.

Pineapplelady1 · 07/02/2025 14:55

Thank you, I have said this to my husband, without being sounding stupid, it would come under the area they live in the social services isn't it?

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Pineapplelady1 · 07/02/2025 15:00

I have told my husband to report to social services re the uncle.

Basically she continuously tells my husband he must have their daughter on a separate weekend when he is in work and isn't happy with how many after school days there are even though it's because of his work shifts he literally can't magic up and early finish to have his daughter.

They have an app already but she used to send abuse on it which she deleted but now she what's apps which we are able to store all the conversations as proof and evidence of we were to go to court.

I said I would have his daughter when he's working as she is part of my life and family and wouldn't want to cause any stress for her mum with her not coming on the weekends she should be here, the mum won't allow it. Also my family spoil her and treat her like their own as my husband's family live 5 hours away and hardly see her. It's something as his wife and partner I am happy to do.

Thank you so much for the links I am going to look at them 💗

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