Hi everyone!
I’m in need of an outside perspective here as I think my son may be on the spectrum, but DH and wider family are doing the typical ‘only 3’ thing. Also worth noting that I work with kids so am aware of norms at 3, but it’s totally different to view objectively when it’s your own!
My son is 3 and has met every milestone so far. He is very articulate, plays imaginatively, great gross motor skills, appropriate fine motor skills, aware of his own and others emotions etc. He is confident and relaxed around adults. He’s clever and funny, plays with toys appropriately, so interested in the world and constantly asking questions and playing games with us.
HOWEVER, he has no clue how to interact with other children, and honestly doesn’t seem to want to. He has no real friends at nursery (still within the realms of normal at his age but becoming a concern for me) and doesn’t seem to want any. He’s painfully shy and unsure around other kids. Nursery have picked up on this, and are working with him with smaller groups. He doesn’t want to play with our friends kids who he’s known his whole life.
He avoids eye contact with other kids (not with adults - totally normal eye contact with adults), and since his baby sister has been born I’ve noticed he’s even a bit strange whilst interacting with her, although she’s 3 months old now and he’s definitely more comfortable. He has a voice he puts on when talking to other kids. It’s hard to really explain. It’s like he’s in his own head so much and so unsure around other kids, and occasionally he’ll relax and I’ll see the glimmers of age appropriate social engagement, but then it goes again.
He was the first child, grandchild, nephew etc in our whole families so he has been around adults mostly, but he’s been in nursery a couple of days a week since he was 18 months old, and we have friends we see regularly enough with their kids. He has some noise sensitivity, hates crowds singing together etc, but again still within the realms of normal to his age and stage, and his reaction to it has calmed as he’s got older.
Does anyone have any experience of this? Or does it resonate with anyone? I’m not sure if it’s totally typical or if I’m noticing a genuine issue here.