Both DC up at 5am and 3rd on the way - help!

[Herewegoagain8]

DD has started screaming for me from her cot at about 5am, fine - maybe she’s got separation anxiety or knows a new baby is on the way and just needs a cuddle. DS then comes in wet through from wetting the bed - I’m trying to get him dry overnight as I’m almost sure he’s waking up needing the toilet but just stays in bed. We’re then all up at 5am for the day, I’m in the 3rd trimester and shattered.

I’ve got a house move on the horizon in the next few weeks and just feel a bit overwhelmed! Ive no idea how I’m going to deal with it when i have a newborn in the room who will wake up and need me as well. What should I be tackling first, trying to get DD to sleep later would help but I don’t know how. Maybe I should forget the night time wetting for now but DS is 5 and really wants to stop wearing pull ups and I was trying to sort it out before we move house and he has a new sibling to deal with. I can’t see the wood for the trees and need an outside perspective.

This sounds really hard OP, how old is your DD? Is DS confident with getting up at night and going to the toilet by himself, so is there suitable lighting - does he need any assistance? If he's soaking wet does he need bugger pull up? I would focus on the house move and your DD's sleep as a house change may affect their routines anyways amd you need to feel organised for the move. I hope things get better

I'd use pull ups for the five year old....it can take quite a while for boys especially to be reliably dry at night.

I personally would try night time dryness again in a few months. How old is DD is she ready to go in a bed, or could you put a few toys in her reach, it really depends on her age. What time do they go to bed, do they sleep in day.

5YO needs to be in pull ups until he’s had a week of being dry. If it’s behavioural, as in he’s waking then weeing rather than getting out of bed for the loo which is surprisingly common (my DD did it), and he doesn’t want to wear the pull ups then it’s an easy fix and you’ll probably find he’s dry quite quickly especially if you make sure the corridor and bathroom lights are left on for him. If you’re wrong and he’s doing it in his sleep then he needs the pull ups even more. Separately you can look at tips to get him dry like limiting drinks after dinner, no blackcurrant, drinking more in the day to increase bladder capacity, lifting him when you go to bed etc. but either way wet sheets to wash and early waking every morning can’t go on. So definitely stick with pull ups until he’s managed a whole week dry.

DD is a harder one. How old is she? Old enough for anything like a sticker chart or a gro clock?? Other things to consider are- is bedtime to early, does she need to drop a nap, is she eating enough in the evening to avoid waking hungry, could she be cold… does she have some books within reach she could look at if she wakes early?

DS got up the night before last to go to the toilet for the first time so can do it and has a portable night light etc but last night was wet and said he’d been asleep. I’ve cut out blackcurrant drinks, stopped drinks after tea and take him for a wee before I go to bed so maybe he’s not ready and I should go back to pull ups for now. I just worry he’s using the pull up so he doesn’t have to get up as he was dry for a week long spell in summer but started wetting again.

DD has just turned 2 last week. Bedtime is 7pm and she has a nap just after lunch for anywhere between 45 mins and 2 hours. She’s still in a cot as we are moving her to a bed in the new house but she can reach her books and has a few teddies and dolls in with her. She’s not a great eater but will never eat breakfast so I don’t think she’s waking hungry. She’s always been clingy with me but if she used to wake early I could leave her a bit and she’d go back to sleep sometimes. This screaming blue murder for me is new and wakes the whole house, she sounds distressed until I go get her so can’t really leave her anymore. She’s a bit too young for a gro clock. If I could just get her to make until the click started with a 6 to start shouting for me it would be a start!

Focus on sleep. 5 year old back in pull ups. The goal isn’t to get them to wake up to wee in the toilet instead of a nappy. It’s that they don’t wee at all during the night. If he’s wetting himself and waking to wee, he’s not ready. Neither of mine ever wake to use the toilet at night (and both were still in nappies at 6).

The early waking is very characteristic at around 2. We also had horrendous screaming bedtimes that went on til 9/10pm. I’d go get her and bring her in to bed with you to see if you can get a little more sleep. Or where’s your partner in all this? Send dp there to do some settling. Or to take over at say 6am so you can get some sleep. I think the early wakings are unusual (maybe unusual you haven’t had these spells before). You need to figure out a strategy for getting through them with max possible sleep.

Given that your eldest is about to be unsettled again with a move and a new baby, I also think putting him back in pull ups is a good idea. Let things settle before you try again

@mindutopia thanks, yes I think I’ll have to go back to pull ups for a while.

I do go and get DD and bring her to our bed for a cuddle but absolutely no way will she go back to sleep and wants to be up and go downstairs! DH is up and out to work before 6am doing long days and weekends to get us over the hurdle of moving costs to the new house so it’s on me at the moment. You’re right, I’m sure it’s all very normal, I’m probably just feeling extra shattered as not sleeping well myself in the third trimester. I think I must have got super lucky with DS as he was always a good sleeper and stayed in bed until close to 7am.

Definitely pick your battles and I wouldn't bother even thinking about night dryness at the moment.

If DH is leaving early in the morning then can he take over in the evenings when he gets in so you can go to bed really early, at least some nights?

I would either let DH co sleep with DD for a bit or put her on just the cot mattress so she can come in to your room herself in the morning.

with mine, I used to go in, and say, it isn't morning time yet, do you want some toys to play with until morning, and put a couple of things in the cot. Then leave.
I sometimes went back in every 5 minutes if they were fussing, but morning time for us was 7, and until then, they stayed in their cot.

This very quickly meant that they both slept later, and also didn't shout for us straight away, but played happily with some stuff until morning time.
ds in particular would just wake 10 minutes earlier every day if we didn't do this, but when we did this, he woudl sleep until 7.

Didn't work for dd3 though as she could climb out of her cot at 18 months and was an early riser.
But she did play with her toys until we got up.