Highly sensitive toddler?

[Prrrri]

DS is 3. Always been more prone to tantrums, meltdowns. He is very shy and needs lots and lots of preparation for new things. Does things in his own time for example if I’m like “ooo try this” he wil get annoyed, he is a bit stubborn.

I just wondered if anyone else had tips? The meltdowns do get me down a bit. I constantly worry about him and if I’m a good mum. I don’t have anyone I can open up to and nursery aren’t concerned about his behaviour at all, mingles well with the kids and staff, doesn’t have any tantrums / meltdowns really,

Could have written this about my almost three year old. Daily meltdowns after nursery but in general fine at nursery and around people, just takes time to warm up too. Really hard so I sympathise OP.

Thanks it can be tough can’t it? Sometimes I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and that some days anything I say or do causes a melt down

Ignore the melt downs. That is probably what the nursery staff do as they have so many other kids to deal with so he realizes that’s not the way to get his way. ‘Use your words please’ is a good phrase to use on repeat.

Thanks it’s tough I want him to love me and be the best mum ever but I can see now he’s using whining and tantrums to get his own way

I can see when.i give in to some things (so one extra sweet etc) he instantly stops whining or having the meltdown

My tip would be focus on the feeling rather than the meltdown or what it's ostensibly about.
Manage your expectations of what a child should do and go with the flow a lot more.
When our son was a toddler we were dragging him out every weekend as lockdown was finally over but now we realised maybe he benefits more from downtime.
Totally sympathise with the meltdowns on pickup but everything is apparently fine all day, that's just them holding it in. Ignore anyone who tells you if he can hold it at childcare/school then he should at home, actually little ones can be like a pressure cooker building up all day.
Also make sure special needs is firmly on your radar, so many children end up unable to go to school as they have been masking and fitting in until every thing falls apart and in some cases can't even leave the house.