Explaining to 10 year old why she can't have boys to sleep over

[twoblueskies]

I've tried to explain why children have to stop room sharing when aged 10 plus . Wonder if anyone has any more suggestions.
She gets on better with boys than girls , less complicated, she's really upset that she can't have a birthday sleepover with 3 boys .
She's going through puberty and I've said that's when boys and girls can't share a bedroom anymore . But I'm struggling to find the words to say why !

Backstory : have an older child who was SA at a sleepover by a visiting boy who I didn't know was staying . This happened 9 years ago . So I'm super cautious.

You’re right to feel cautious, I’m sorry that happened to your older child.

I would just explain your said no but they could come over for a little party/ play/ watch a film etc do all the things they would do before a sleepover but then they will go home instead of staying. Maybe you could arrange a night time party for this instead.

When she’s older and you and your other child feel comfortable, then you can further explain your reasons behind it but for now just saying no, you’re not at the age for that then being firm with it. She might not like it but you don’t need to keep providing reasons for saying no.

You could simply say that boys and girls bodies start to change at this age and they need more privacy.
So it is not appropriate to share rooms.

You could also joke a bit about how much boys fart as they get older and enclosed spaces. 😉 Because girls don't fart obviously....

At 10 I would just make the rule very straightforward as she is old enough to hear it.

If the pairing of individuals could result in a pregnancy, it’s not appropriate to sleepover or share a room.

this also is neutral if any friends end up being gender fluid or if they try to argue that sexual orientation should be a consideration.

My mum use to say you can have as many sleep overs as you like when you have your own home.
She said the same about pets and friends etc.
This is our home not a playground or a doss house.
Do you see a b&b sign.
Do they not have beds at there homes.
Play out side with them they dont need to come in.
It sounds harsh but looking back on it now im pleased she did say it .
As an adult i value my home and my peace in it.

So you weren't allowed have friends to play inside your house or have sleepovers?? Why?! That's awful and so sad