Am I being unrealistic as DS is always unwell?

[Overthebs]

Hello… my DS is 17 months old and goes nursery 3 days per week.
He was C section baby and was given anti bis at birth due to possible hypothermia as he was cold when born.
I’ve had him vaccinated so he’s up to date.
I’m getting really worried he’s always unwell.
He was okay until about 9 months since then it’s been constant running nose. Coughs all the time and sounds quite chesty.
Hes had a reoccurring ear infection since about October. Been on anti biotic 5 times constant temperatures.
He has oral thrush and ends up on drops.. when he’s like this he obvs doesn’t eat as much.
Now he’s started with what I think is conjunctivitis.. but his nose is running again and he’s coughing.
GPs and drs just fobbing us off making excuses that this is normal and going on about the shape of the ear for the infections.
I guess I’m after reassurance and opinions of any one else’s experiences?
I’m off to drs again today and I’m going to have to ask to make a complaint for a second opinion because I really don’t feel this is normal.
My poor baby is ill more than he’s well.

Sounds normal to me - my son and all his peers got every infection going during their first year of nursery. The good news is they get past it and he has rarely been sick since. The bad new is that is a loooooong year.

It pays off when they start school too - the children who have been in nursery are bombproof.

Do you push for antibiotics? Most ear infections get better without them.

Completely and totally normal. The key point is that it's winter and there are more infections circulating and he's at nursery where they circulate more.

It will improve when the better weather comes. Meanwhile, if you can, can you provide hime a two to three week break from nursery to break the cycle.

Mine had repeated ear infections when they were tinies and the constant antibiotics. I look at picture of ds taken when he was 13/14 months and he looks bloody awful. He had 11 I recall in a 9 month period; dd had 8. He was grommeted at 17 months, dd at 20. It was a game changer and stopped the ear infections. However, there was no NHS support for this, only platitudes and excuses. We paid.

I really wouldn't complain about this but I would ask for a referral to ENT and pay if you have to.

Mine are grown up now and were fit and healthy as soon as summer hit.

Sounds like the rougher end of normal. He’s had a lot of antibiotics including at birth which will have wiped out his guts good bacteria. Can you get him a really good probiotic that’s proven to reach the stomach to try and help him build it back up, I think the colief multi biotic drops are good

Seconding probiotics

No I am the opposite I question if the constant antibiotics are doing him more harm than good. But with the high temps it seems to be the only way to bring him safely back down to normal temp range. He gets so poorly shaking and everything when his temp is over 40.
Dr said ‘oh it doesn’t work like that in babies they don’t build a tolerance to them like adults?’
I’m a nurse by background and although I’m not peads I didn’t think that sounded correct.

thanks you.. This is what I’m thinking but they won’t do an ENT referral now? Said we have to wait again for further infections.. and then there’s obvs a wait list.
Can I ask what you searched for to get this? and roughly how much? We talking thousands?

Does he have to be in nursery 3 days a week? If there's the option I would perhaps pull him out for a short while to let his body recover, and go back in a few weeks. My son has had pneumonia, RSV and flu in the space of five months. It has been absolute hell. After the pneumonia, the consultant told us to keep him off. Nursery says few weeks and our GP said that at the moment, nurseries are like "cesspits" and that it was wise to let him have a break while he fully recovered. He went back, and within a few months he got flu! He was hospitalised and was very very poorly (temperature of 40°C for over 24 hours, which they could not get down). The consultant there told me that she had pulled her two-year-old out of nursery after having to be hospitalised three times from illnesses which she had picked up there. She said that it's not like years ago when children who were poorly were being kept off, unfortunately parents seem to just dose them up on Calpol and send them in anyway, which gives these illnesses a chance to mutate and get stronger, affecting children far worse than they used to. Obviously nowadays employers aren't as forgiving and more mums are having to work, so can't stay home with their poorly kids. She said that traditional medications which used to work to help relieve them / antibiotics etc are not working as well, which is worrying paediatric Drs. She also said it's a myth that if they are getting infection after infection after infection, it's building a "strong immune system", because in actuality the immune system needs time to recover and replenish , not be hit with another illness immediately afterwards and then another and another.

I am dreading sending my son back to nursery after this influenza a, but I am going to keep him off for a couple of weeks while he fully recovers (doctors advice). I have a 15-year-old daughter, and it was never this bad when she was little - infections and illnesses which seem to be rife nowadays were practically unheard of when she was at nursery, and only a few would catch them, whereas now it's just accepted that they will get all the serious illnesses over and over again!

My 2.4 year old rarely got ill but when he started at his childminders in September it's been constant illness. Numerous colds, coughs, ear infection, hand foot and mouth etc. He's still got the runny nose but finally seems to be getting over everything. He only goes 3 days like yours but with it being winter it just seems worse because all of the kids seem to be running around with a snotty nose at minimum. Hopefully when the spring comes it all gets better. The way I look at it is that he's getting all this now and building his immune system up so when he starts school he'll have an excellent immune system 🤞. It's a case of riding it out which I know is hard but it really will get better eventually 😊

Has your doctor checked your child's globulim levels?
My sister's child was like this, never seemed to be without some kind of infection.
Levels were tested and he needed a few ivig infusions to boost his immune system. He was right as rain after that.
She's in Australia though.

hello

Thank you for this- it’s very helpful and sounds exactly what it’s like for ds.

Last night was the worst he’s been- vomiting, shivering, inconsolable crying his eye is basically closed and he can’t breathe through the snot filled sinuses.. temperature which just won’t come down. I rang 111 as I was so scared… they said probs reacting to anti biotics and to see how we get on today.

He is off nursery now and I’ve taken a break from work- reluctantly but I just broke down when the Dr asked how I am. Trying to juggle working 30 hours with this contious sickness. We both agreed he needs space from nursery and I need space from work to just focus on looking after him and trying to catch-up on sleep!

I’ve got vitamin D drops but might trial something else too help his immune system 😞

Hello no they won’t check anything just fob me off with excuses.
We might go see someone private though so can ask thank you

Gosh nothing much to add but yeah you feel like you're the only ones struggling with this. It seems like some kids are floored by everything, and some just plough on regardless.
Everyone is telling my that it gets better after a couple of years, waiting to see if they are right! Apparently this year has been particularly bad in general though.
Take care!

Try to avoid antibiotics unless clearly recommended ( sometimes they are given out of desperation) as they do upset so much - put the body out of balance - 5 times since October is a lot

Definitely the tougher end of normal.

Most kids when they start nursery or group childcare get a lot of infections. It's normal to have back to back colds/tummy bugs/ear infections etc.

Does sound like he is suffering more than most.

I put mine on multivitamins and echinacea. Not convinced it made much of a difference but honestly if it saved even one cold it was worth it.

I had one that had a great immune system and was rarely ill. Then I had the second and he got everything going! Covid lockdown did help, so hopefully your nursery break will too. He continued to get everything until he went on the brown asthma inhaler and things got better after that. Some kids do just get so many bugs and it's heartbreaking.

Sambucol.

Sounds like you're describing my DS exactly! Nursery years were horrendous. I used to pump him full of all kinds of vitamins and probiotics. There was a really sugary blackcurrant liquid (the name escapes me) that seemed to help a little.

I went as far as trying to giving him build up type milkshakes I bought online as he never seemed well enough to eat.

He's 12 now and never gets sick (other than the dreaded Monday morning malingering, which he's off school with today - I expect a miraculous recovery after midday when it's too late to make him go in).

The only thing I'd say to be mindful of is the ear infections - DS had many, many ear infections and his left ear was especially bad. His eardrum perforated twice on the left side and he now has "significant" hearing loss on that side. Luckily, he was over 3 when he had the perfs and his speech was already well developed so there's been no impact there.