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Parenting

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Ignore aggressive behaviour?

6 replies

RidiculousRed · 04/02/2025 22:21

Advise needed please.

I have 2 children with my ex partner. Separated 3.5 years.

He brought the children home late when he last had them. He'd asked to bring them home at 8 and I said that was too late for a Sunday night (the youngest goes to bed at 8) and said it can be later than usual (they normally come home at 4) but 7 at the latest. It was so they could have dinner at his dad's house who lives about 40 minutes away so not a special occasion.

He brought them back at 7.45 and the youngest was fast asleep. I challenged him and he shouted at me and called me a c**t several times. He also threatened to beat up my dad and brother. This was said in front of his wife. I phoned the police and reported this.

He has now text and said he can't pick the children up this weekend and I will need to drop them off. No mention of the previous incident.

Do I just ignore it too? Do I try and hold him to account for the way he spoke to me and the threats he made? How do I word it so I am not being confrontational? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Hercisback1 · 05/02/2025 06:23

Have you got a court order?

I wouldn't want to send kids with him.

Gloriousgardener11 · 05/02/2025 07:06

What a charmer!
He wouldn’t be having the children again.

ObliviousCoalmine · 05/02/2025 18:17

He sounds like my ex husband, they always seem to have very short memories for some reason.

I would grey rock. "I can't do that I'm afraid, the children will be ready for you to pick up at X time, let me know if they will be here this weekend instead".

They tie their own metaphorical noose eventually I've found.

RidiculousRed · 05/02/2025 23:41

Hercisback1 · 05/02/2025 06:23

Have you got a court order?

I wouldn't want to send kids with him.

No court order in place. Just an agreement between us. The youngest cries every time he has to go but the oldest one goes quite happily. I hate sending them but he is their dad.

OP posts:
RidiculousRed · 05/02/2025 23:43

Gloriousgardener11 · 05/02/2025 07:06

What a charmer!
He wouldn’t be having the children again.

I could write a book of all the charming things he's done.

I can't not let him see his children though. And he's made threats about wanting them 50:50 before so I'm very reluctant to do anything that would make him bring that up again. At the moment it is 3 nights per month.

OP posts:
RidiculousRed · 05/02/2025 23:45

ObliviousCoalmine · 05/02/2025 18:17

He sounds like my ex husband, they always seem to have very short memories for some reason.

I would grey rock. "I can't do that I'm afraid, the children will be ready for you to pick up at X time, let me know if they will be here this weekend instead".

They tie their own metaphorical noose eventually I've found.

Yes short term memory loss for the things he's done but can recall something from 15 years ago if needed to use against me. I've heard of the grey rock method - I will look into it more. Thank you.

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