Not allowed to hang out with my kids!

[Blueswirl]

On the way home from school I heard a child say his mum said he wasn't allowed to hang out with my kids as they are naughty! He came to our Birthday party recently and the mum thanked me and was nice as pie. No bad behaviour or anything.

Shall I just ignore it or say something? My boys aren't perfect but they are all really good friends, my kids are kind to them etc. The mum has always been a bit odd with me but the dad is fine. I assumed it was ok after the party but seems not.

It's awkward as they all like walking home together and if I look in her direction to say anything or even just acknowledge her she always looks away. I can just carry on as before & hope we don't end up walking home together too often, but it's upset me a bit.

Constructive advice appreciated, thanks!

How sure are you your kids aren't naughty firstly?
Do you have other school mum friends whose children play with yours?
It might be she is over precious, but I would first want to assure myself that she doesn't have a point that I need to address.

As I said they aren't perfect but are always kind. The dad actually thanked one of them for looking after his son when he was hurt once. The boy had said a while ago he wasn't allowed to play with them but then as they came to the party I assumed we had been forgiven!

Yes they do get invited to play with other kids at their houses etc and all the other mums are fine with me.

Maybe it's a historical issue she hasn't really forgotten, even though she accepted the party invite.

I will check nothing has happened recently, but they were all getting on brilliantly on the way home.

Yes maybe she is just a bit precious, thanks!

Tbh, a child can sometimes behave in a naughty way and be very kind at other times.

I've taught plenty of children who get themselves into trouble by being too rough on the playground or by distracting others who are trying to concentrate on their work but also have a heart of gold and are very caring if a friend is hurt or upset.

Maybe the other child has gone home and complained about your dc's behaviour a couple of times and the mum has responded by telling him to keep away from your dc if the behaviour upsets her dc.

I hear enough, "the teacher said..." comments in the classroom which I know are not what I just said to the child, to take any "My mum said.." comments with a pinch of salt anyway.

There are some kids who bring out the worst in each other, some kind of weird chemistry. One of my neighbours kids does this to my eldest, just sends him feral in a way he doesn't behave when with other kids. I don't know why. The neighbours kid is objectively a nice enough boy, generally kind etc. but I don't like them hanging around together often. Could it be something like this?

That's true! I did wonder if he was just remembering something his mum said a few months ago, I will try to forget it!

Yes, we hear things the teachers apparently said which I don't believe! Apparently once my son asked what he had to do and the teacher said "duh!" And another teacher allegedly called me a "Covid Mum" back in 2021! I chose to disbelieve both of those!

Thanks for your reply.

Yes it could be, they can be hyper when together, I'm used to it as mine are close in age but one of hers is younger so she probably doesn't want him to get over excited. Thanks for your reply. 🙂