Am I being delusional?

[spicytuna06]

Hi everyone!

Need some advice from more experienced mums of two please. My toddler is 2 and I'm currently pregnant, due in September. She is not in nursery, but with a full time nanny now, as I am working full time.

My current plan is to send her to nursery in May, she'll be around 2.5 then, and then hoping we settle in a nice routine before baby 2 arrives and then she'll go 2-3 days a week.

Now sometimes, mum guilt kicks in and I'm thinking why should I send her to nursery at all - she can stay with the nanny until I go on mat leave and then just be with me and baby at home and go to preschool when is 3.

Am I being unrealistic? Would it be better for everyone involved if she goes to nursery 3 days a week?

Please advise! Thank you

How will you juggle nursery if working full time? Is it full day? Will baby go too after your leave is over?
The benefit of a nanny is (presumably) she is there full time. So could do the drop offs/collections when your eldest goes (even if you don't send them to nursery then reception). and look after the baby too while you work. More flexibility.
Nothing wrong with nursery/daycare. Mine went when I was working, then went for two days a week even when I became a SAHM after my second was born, and she started at one year old so I had a bit of a break. Plus they loved nursery.

I would absolutely do nursery if you can afford it. I personally think it’s much better for their socialisation than a nanny because they build friendships and experience things like communal meals, sharing, etc. But you get time with baby, can go to baby groups, can sit down without wrangling a toddler, can sleep when baby sleeps. My eldest was in school when youngest was born and it was definitely the best of both worlds.

That said, if you start her at nursery at 2.5, I’d keep her there. No need to switch to preschool.

I think two and a half is a really good age for nursery.

What is your plan for after Maternity leave

Hey!

Yes nursery would be all day whilst I work. We can't keep the nanny whilst I'm on mat leave so that's not an option sadly.

For now is going back to work part time, but who knows, I might decide to become a SAHM.

I meant childcare plan... Nanny proving Wrap around for preschool plus care for baby, or both in nursery?

I would use whichever of the two you plan to use in the long term, rather than an additional switch of childcare if you can avoid it.

Obviously if you become a SAHM that would be a moot point.

Ah, sorry I misunderstood you! Even if we do go back to having a nanny after I'm going back to work I can't keep her whilst I'm on mat leave so whatever happens after is irrelevant to me now.

I had my 2 year old DD in nursery 2 days a week for first 6 months of maternity leave and then 3 days as she was entitled to funding at 3. No regrets at all; I still had 4-5 days at home with her and it gave me some lovely bonding time with my baby but also gave DD a break from so much being about the baby and stimulation which in the first few weeks I felt very guilty about not being able to provide as much of. It was great for socialisation for her too

I would get her used to nursery before the baby arrives so she doesn't feel pushed out. It will be great for all though as she'll get time socialising and not being restricted by the baby's needs and you and the baby will get time together without a toddler like you had with your oldest.

I have a 2 year old and 4 month old at home with me everyday whilst I'm on mat leave. It is HARD work. If you can afford nursery definitely put her in for a couple of days. No need for any mum guilt. She'll still have more days at home with you than if she was with a nanny full time.