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Lazy teenager - constant nagging!

5 replies

mumsrthebest · 03/02/2025 22:17

Hi All,
I have a 13 year old daughter and a 9 year old son and on the hole they are good children. I need a bit of reassurance whether this is normal but I seem to spend my life nagging them especially my teenage daughter to tidy up after themselves. It drives me insane! Even simple things like moving a bath towel from the middle of the bathroom floor, putting clothes away instead of leaving them all over the floor in their bedroom and not putting rubbish in the bin instead of randomly left around the house.

I could understand this as this is typical teenager behaviour but the fact I have to ask her about 3 to 4 times sometimes more before she does it. Homework is another obstacle ... she leaves it to the last minute despite me telling her to do it.
I even have to remind her to brush her bloomin teeth and hair on a morning and give her a nudge to shower.

We have introduced small chores that they need to do in order to get their pocket money. I want them to learn the value of money and realise that me and her Dad are not just their slaves. It is only week 2 of the chores and so far my son has completed them all but my daughter didn't complete the tidying of her bedroom. (I helped her clear out her room last week and moved some furniture around for her and she said she would keep it tidy). Clothes have started appearing on the floor again!! I'm not accepting it to be immaculate but at least do what her parents ask of her.

Any advice? I don't want to be the nag.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LondonernotinLondon · 03/02/2025 22:24

I sympathise. I have a 12 year old step daughter and she literally has to be told everything! She would forget her head if it wasn't screwed on. Except she never forgets her phone funnily enough!!!
I find it very annoying when I have to constantly remind her to shower, put clothes away, brush her teeth. I don't think my parents had to tell me to do this at aged 12 but maybe they did. I'm hoping it will get easier over time.

topcat2014 · 03/02/2025 22:26

I just say about braces/retainer and cleaning teeth.

You need to leave them to live in a pit or you'd go loopy.

They learn if they don't put washing in the basket they just go to school in grubby kit..

mumsrthebest · 03/02/2025 22:35

I used to just shut the door in her room so I didn't have to look at the mess but it got too untidy. Plus I don't think it's good for her mental health to live in such disorganisation. I'm not expecting it to be perfect by any means. x

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TinyMouseTheatre · 04/02/2025 07:34

Mine are ND, one has inattentive ADHD, so I'm not really sure how it works with NT Teens.

Mine struggle with executive function so will say they'll tidy up but don't quite get around to it.

I put clean clothes away for both of them as otherwise they would end up on the floor and with DD who struggles the most I keep her bin emptied and remove dishes daily.

If she's out for the day I'll also clean her room and put fresh flowers in there.

I've noticed that on the whole she keeps it more tidy since I've swapped from commenting to helping.

As always though pick your battles with teens, listen to what they're saying and I would also recommend reading Untangled to any Mum of a teen girl Flowers

TinyMouseTheatre · 04/02/2025 07:55

Sorry forgot to add. If you ask @MNHQ to move this over to the Teenage Section the MNers in there can give you advice on what's normal at this age Wink

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