Y6 girl friendships

[BlueNewt]

I’d really like to hear from parents with daughters in Y6 about friendships. My daughter is finding friendships increasingly difficult, she feels very lonely and has started to say that she doesn’t want to go to school. As a parent it’s heartbreaking, it doesn’t seem like she is the only one having problems but wanted to hear from others. Thank you!

Y6 is notorious for girl friendship problems so definitely not alone. Part of the problem is access to phones and hurtful messages arriving all night. Also some are getting to puberty whereas others are nowhere near and all are a bit stressed due to sats and secondary. Some new out of school activities can help. Also have a word with the teachers and restrict access to phone.

If you live in an area where they are all going off to different schools for y7, this does settle down a bit once they find out where they are going. They start to make more friendships with kids who are going to their new school. Also, the anxiety of not knowing where they will get in gets to them at this time of year. Where we are (London) I see this with our Y6s every year - not to mention all the other issues regarding puberty related moods and group chats.

@Halfemptyhalfling She doesn’t have a phone, she does have iPad messages but she hardly gets any. At school teachers have tried to help but it seems that this can make the problems even more of a head ache because a teacher is involved. There will be some new children joining the school for year 7 but she will still be with the current year group. I’m debating whether to switch school or if this is a common problem for this year group and hope it gets better in year 7.

@ThisIsNotARealAvo It definitely could be hormones as they all seem to be on edge. Even though my daughter doesn’t have any friends for the children that do I hear of a lot of problems and tensions, not plain sailing

I would try and get her involved in something out of school. Ballet or dance. Sports club. Etc Something where she will have a different group of friends so the friends at school aren’t the be all and end all.

My daughter is Y6 and it is wall to wall drama. She doesn’t have a phone so it’s limited to within school times but a lot of queen bee-ing and trying to command attention and stop followers being friends with anyone that is not in favour. She seems to have opted out and is hanging out with Y5 girls instead. Mercifully none of them likely to be at her secondary school so it will be a fresh start.

Y6 is when they all start growing into themselves. My DD had a (rather controlling) best friend. In Y6 the girl started getting more into music, started talking about boys and trying makeup. While y7 did have influx of new students, it was the same school in different buildings. There was definitely quite a few friendship changes. My DD and her friend were basically growing apart, though my DD was very hurt when her friend started hanging out with a new girl. She changed friendship groups and my DD felt left behind. I do remember her breaking down in tears about in Y7 or 8. She had friends, but no bestie. It can feel very lonely when you aren't sure who to sit with at lunch or when your oldest friend blanks you in the hallway. I'm afraid it's a part of growing up.
Maybe look at alternative schools, but the problem may not go away with a change if scene but with time and maturity.