Does anyone else find parenting just so hard?

[AtWitsEnd21]

Wondering if anyone else feels like this?

I have two DC, aged 3&16 months. Younger DS was and in some ways continues to be a very high needs baby. He needs a lot of stimulation and entertainment. He has improved from crying all day every day but still cries a lot and is very whingey. DC3 is a joy, a wonderful, caring, thoughtful boy but unfortunately does not sleep very well. He has had a terrible run of illness since beginning pre school, he is sick 2/3 times a month and often needs a lot of minding especially at night. He is a tactile creature and loves a cuddle. Both boys are great but so full on in their own ways.

I just find patenting so relentless. I haven’t had a nights sleep in months. I’m tired all the time. I rarely get a moment to myself. DH is good and takes 16m old in the mornings as he is an early riser. I just find it so hard, no break from illness, the exhaustion, having very little time for interests/activities. I love my boys so much but it’s just so hard.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who finds parenting so all consuming and difficult

It's not just you. I'm too exhausted to type a lo g reply, but I have a 4yo and a 4mo and it's just endless! I adore both my DDs and they're both so rewarding in many ways but I am bone tired and the days involve so so much effort and to be 'on' nearly every waking moment.

It will get better!

It's their ages

It is relentless

It gets better

Thanks for your reply. I also feel “on” 24 hours a day. Nothing could have prepared me for how all consuming it is.

I have 2 DC with a similar age gap to you, though they are a little bit younger. I can only sympathise with your situation, it is so incredibly hard, and as you say so relentless! It feels non-stop all the time and I find myself dreading the week to come on a Sunday evening as DH is then back in work for 5 days and everything is 100% on me.
My two sound similar in that DC2 has always been much more needy than DC1 ever was, made much tougher by the fact you already have a toddler to look after. So many people have told me it gets easier, so I’m hoping that’s true, but you’re definitely not alone in feeling like this.

We have kids of similar ages. 3.5 and 14 months. It is so relentless.

Every time I think things are getting easier someone gets ill, or cuts teeth or there’s a work deadline that throws everything off.

It really isn’t just you.

Yep. 3 kids, single parent, not much support. I try to take it all in my stride but my 2yo has pushed me to the absolute brink of my patience today!

Honestly every time I think there’s a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel someone gets sick or falls or is up all night. I just want to cry right now with how exhausted I feel.

When they are small it's exhausting isn't it. A never ending merry go round of nappies/sleepless nights/crying/illness/being exhausted and having no time for yourself

It's OK to feel like this

This too shall pass and you will enjoy them more x

What helps me is really trying to recognise the fleeting moments that are truly heartwarming. It might be just 2 minutes in a whole day but it helps me.

It's the age, they are so young. It does get better. Hang in there, keep going. Maybe only focus on one day at a time and take any help you can if possible. Even an hour or so. I used to go to bed with the kids most nights. I was so exhausted I had no interest in watching telly and didn't care how messy it was. Prioritising sleep got me through. Hopefully as winter eases up over the next few weeks, we'll have less bugs and illnesses.

Thank you for this helpful advice, I will definitely try to do this more. I feel like I’m wishing my life away a lot of the time. In the last 24 hours the eldest spiked a fever and was up all night, the youngest threw the car keys down the toilet and fell badly straight on to his head. It just never ends

Oh OP that’s a tough day. It’s so rubbish when they’re ill.

My youngest has an infection and we’re still waiting for the antibiotics to work. It’s been like having a newborn again 🤦🏻‍♀️

It is relentless, but I agree with PP about trying to recognise the heartwarming moments really helps.

It’s cheesy but I find doing something at least once a day to make my boys laugh just makes my day. I‘m currently having the best part of my day, snuggled up in bed with my sleeping one year old, he’s barely slept all weekend so this is just lovely.

I’ve been working on gratitude and noticing the good and it has dramatically improved my mental health in the last few weeks.

Yep same here. Though mine are a bit older but it just changes to school runs instead. Also have a teen and she's almost as much work as the 2 year old.
Some days I dream of having an epic lie in

Ooow I like to ask my 3 year old what made him laugh today. That’s a good one too.

I agree with this my preteen is much harder to deal with than my 1 year old. But between the 1 year old not sleeping and the 12 year old being in my case 24/7 im only a day away from shaving my own head.

When your youngest gets to 3/3.5, life gets massively easier.

I’ve been told this a few times. It just seems so far away right now. And he’s so headstrong and feisty already I actually fear what he will be like at 3!

Yes absolutely it is relentless! Every day is survival mode
I think it will get better as they get easier and their needs are less
You're not alone