Mental health crisis , need help with parenting

[clinellwipe]

The last 3 weeks I've had an exacerbation of long standing anxiety/depression to the point that I can't really achieve much except cry all day.

My 3yo son and I are with my parents at their house (3 hours away) but need to return to our own home tomorrow where I have no support. No friends, no local family. My husband lives in the family home but doesn't help due to work commitments (not good enough and it's a long story but I can't change that right now)

I've contacted health visitor who can't return my message until Monday. I will contact GP Monday. I've contacted my midwife (I'm 28 weeks pregnant) but they just said they'll refer to perinatal mental health services.

I need help with practical things with my son as I can't stop crying

Could one of your parents come with you?

I would contact NHS Direct option 2 and speak to the mental health team.

Why do you need to go home? You sound like you should stay longer if you can

I bet you do have friends, you just need the courage to send them a WhatsApp. Someone will be glad to help.

I think you either need to stay with your parents, one of them needs to come with you, or your husband needs to pull his finger out of his bum and support you and his children.

My Dh is a company director and can work long hours and some days with travel. I have cancer and needed a major operation. He was off work for a week, did all the cooking, sorting of children, homework, and drove me to and from multiple appointments every week for a month at the hospital which is an hour drive each way.

There’s no excuse for anyone being lazy and not helping when you’re unwell. But if he’s going to be like that, then you need to find who that other person is who can support you and stick with them.

You have a husband and parents, they need to support you and your child. Are you on medication at the moment?
I really hope you start to feel better soon.

Your husband needs to look after his kid

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling so unwell. Do you have to go home? If your parents are able to support you, it might be helpful to stay. I hope you get great support from the perinatal health team.

You poor thing, it sounds awful. You've been through a lot so cut yourself some slack. I've also got health anxiety and always get so panicky when my 3 year old is unwell. Like really bad anxiety as soon as he spikes a temp I go into a spiral of how unwell he might get.
To reassure you my son has loads of little glands in his neck as he's constantly fighting horrible viruses.
Have you tried CBT or other therapy? It might help change your way of thinking. It's not easy, and our babies are our world,

Thank you for replies.
My mum has offered to come home with me tomorrow.

My son has had 3 weeks of diarrhoea and vomiting - two bugs we think as there was a gap of a a few days we think.

GPs and ED (we've seen GP 5 times and been to ED once) have essentially said to wait it out as not ill enough to admit to hospital for IV fluids . Feel like my son and I have been left to it. Sleep deprived and desperate for my son to get better

Kids don't stop being kids when they are grown. If this were my daughter having a mental health crisis, I'd be happy to support her however she needs. Kicking her out the door any saying she is her husband's problem is a shitty thing to do.

Good you have supportive parents.

when son is better does he or can he go to nursery full time to help you?

Midwife has done the right thing, referring on to perinatal mental health team as that is where the expertise is for you.