Hi, this may be a long one so buckle up.
I have had social services involved since pregnancy. At first I was told it was because of missed appointments then it changed to pregnant with mental health issues. It’s now been 3 years of back and forth zig zagging between child in need, child at risk and PLOs. In the last 3 years I’ve done a lot of work on myself. My finances are stable and enough to provide, my mental health is the best it’s been bar the stress social services are causing, the house is the cleanest it’s been (Not spotless but it looks like it’s been lived in), I stopped smoking, I got diagnosed with ADHD Combined type and am on the waiting list for meds.
I recently moved about 5 hours away from where I used to live, from my support system. I love it up here, my son is thriving, we work around the 5 hours by daily phone calls and monthly visits to and from family. We make it work. However, the social services I used to be with are know for doing anything for money. They will keep a case against vulnerable single parents and ignore the kids being beaten purely because their house is clean. Cause of this no support was ever given. In 2 years I went through more social workers than I have fingers, being cleared once and having them not write it down. My word never mattered. They listened but didn’t hear what I was saying. Saying all this, the previous social services haven’t sent everything that have. Some is redacted. Some simply says “cannot disclose” (normally when they were wrong). I’ve mentioned this to the new social team but they seem to have followed in the footsteps of read the file before hearing the parents so they made their mind up before they even assigned me a social worker. In 4 months, not even, he has gone from a child in near to a child protection and 2 weeks after being told that we’re going to PLO. Again. I asked the social worker why it’s escalating to the PLO when I have done everything asked of me and then some and she simply said “my senior manager noticed you were on a PlO before so we are going it again”. I’ve asked my Family support worker if she can join as I do weekly sessions with her instead of bi-weekly 5 minute chats so she has been able to get to know me, how I work, my limitations, my struggles. Again, I’ve been through this I know what to expect so I’ve already contacted a solicitor.
The thing I had a problem with now is, the social worker had a walk through the house. It was around half 4, we were playing so there was a bit of mess but not enough to form any hazards. She looked in my room. I stated it was being used as storage until I can get the walls decorated (I had to strrip the walls to the plaster due to mould and in doing so I have to run things by my housing association first) so that door is shut unless I go to sleep. The child has no access to it. But she was still making little remarks that it was unsafe for a child. Again, the rest of the house that the child has near full access to is safe. I also mentioned to the social worker that I feel no one was listening to what I had to say and she replied by interrupting me saying she was listening to what I was saying. She dodged a lot of my questions and as soon as she realised I had people on the phone, my support system, she couldn’t get out that door quicker.
im lost at what to do. Mine and my son’s life is so much better without social services in it. We can go out without being demanded home, we can make friends because people don’t want to be involved with social services, I am less stressed, I could do things that made me happy when my child was at nursery which meant he wasn’t picking up on my stress. I’m being told that I have to: go to appointments, get the house sorted (paint the walls), go to social meetings (that are held 2 hours away), go out to meet people, keep on top of everything, clean, and still manage to keep everything and every one stable. I’m so f**king stressed out. I’m not sleeping properly, I’ve lost my appetite, I’m constantly fighting the urge to start smoking again, it’s overwhelming. I’ve been told try family to go to the doctors but from this social services and the last if you weren’t 1000% sane it was reason for emotional neglect on a child. They would and will use you getting help against you. I’ve told them this time and time again, I don’t need normal person support. I need support that is tailored around ADHD. But because they won’t they are setting me up to fail. I don’t have any more fight left in me but I know I can’t give up.