Co parenting

[Tweediepie43]

Trying to agree to a parenting plan with a co parent who wrote it! It’s very one sided. Regardless of were I live should he collect and pick her up!

in the parenting plan shoujd it have dates around Xmas?

any advice about what to do around going away! She’s only 1 and I’ve suggested a long weekend so roughly 4 days! He hasn’t really had her overnight and he’s saying a week due to the stress of travelling and it would only be 2 days after travel!

Have either of you applied for a Court Order yet?

I think that Mediation woukd be beneficial however you don't always have to do mediation for instance if there has been DA in the relationship.

I also think that you've being very generous offering 4 nights to a parent who has never had them overnight before.

If you were BFing them the Court wouldn't usually expect overnights to start until they're 18 months.

It might be useful to read this guide from Rights of Women too, sorry forgot to mention it in my last post.

Are you both using a Co-parenting app? These can often be helpful, particularly as messages can't be deleted

any advice about what to do around going away! She’s only 1 and I’ve suggested a long weekend so roughly 4 days! He hasn’t really had her overnight and he’s saying a week due to the stress of travelling and it would only be 2 days after travel!

How far away is he and who moved?

I live in reading and he lives in london - so 25 mins from Paddington! I take her every Sunday into london for him to collect her!

my daughter is 20 months and he has just started having one night a week on a Sunday! I suggested 4 days holiday and he wants 7 days which I think is too much this year but can be reviewed next year!

thanks

Lyndsey

Ok so if she's 20 months the. She's deemed old enough for overnights usually. I think that 4 days is reasonable. Has he or you applied for a Child Arrangements Order yet?

Why do you think it's too much? You know many women have babies and they've never looked after a child alone before they give birth. Especially a newborn baby. But you know you just do it and learn as you go.

There is no reason for you to see yourself as the one who ultimately decides whether it is 4 days or 7 days. It's not your solo call.

And how old will she be on the proposed Holiday? With you saying that she's only 1 I thought we were talking about a child of around 12 months.

Not solo call but we are putting together a plan! I think 4 days and then build to 7 days is fine.

not applied for court order do not want to go down that route

Can u ask why that is? Mediation might help you both to agree with a plan that would be acceptable.

Also if you do it yourself it's not enforceable so if he decides to just keep her with him, he can as he's the Father and Courts will only prioritise an application from you to get her back if she's at risk of harm. If the application isn't prioritised it can take months.

I don’t think he would just keep her, he’s too concerned with going out and named me as person she lives with

Honestly I would get some advice in the Relationship Section on MN to help you with your questions and talk to Rights of Women.

People do regrade on their promises, even over the ones made to exes about their own DC. It's absolutely fine not to go through the Court, I just wanted to warm you of what can happen if one day he decides not to agree to the informal plan and not return her when he said he would

Thank you