How to get my toddler to eat?

[FlowerP0wer]

Before anyone comes at me, I don’t mean force feeding or anything. I try to follow the division of responsibility and let my child eat what he wants to eat from the food I provide, we always eat together etc. but he’s increasingly eating less and less at meals and asking for more snacks. He’s 2.5years old.

I stick to a meal schedule so I only give snacks at “snack time” but the problem seems to be his inability to sit still at a meal and his priority being playing. I know he’s hungry as he’s told me before the meal but after a couple of bites, he gets distracted and wants to go play so he says he’s finished. He then says he’s hungry again not long after. I’m finding it really frustrating and he’s looking increasingly skinny (although haven’t weighed him recently so don’t know if he’s underweight). If I let him bring toys to the table or if I read him some stories after I’ve finished my meal, he’ll stay for longer and eat a decent amount. But he is also a very slow eater so it can take up to 45 mins before he’s done (I think this is partly why he gives up so early as he just gets bored of eating because it takes him so long).

Does anyone have any tips to encourage him to eat more without actively forcing him to eat?

Have you tried the playful/fun cutlery you can buy? It makes mealtimes and eating 'fun' without distracting kids from the actual food!

There's a case for refusing to provide extra treat type snacks outside of set times, sticking to majority of food is provided at meal times and you need to sit down and eat food then, if you're hungry you'll eat, if you have two bites and say you're done then whinge for a snack half an hour later then tough... but I think that probably works more with older children and that 2.5yo is just too young to think through and understand the consequences. They live in the moment and the distraction lure of wanting to play is real.

You could look at it as: food is food, whether you call it a snack or a meal and regardless of where it is eaten. Looking at the food you present over the course of a day, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if they eat a slice of toast sat at a table, at 7:30am as part of breakfast, or if they eat a slice of toast at 10:30am while having a teddy bear picnic on their bedroom floor. Is some cut up apple and cubes of cheese as part of lunch any different from cut up apple and cheese at 2pm or 4pm. Yes forgoing meals for crisps and haribo all day wouldn't be great, but if a toddler eats a decent range of food over the course of a small meal and several additional snack sessions, is that any worse than eating it as one large meal. Maybe they just like grazing and that suits their hunger level and distraction level for now best!

Is he slow with cutlery, slow chewing, or both? I'd try to deliberately make some meals, or at least part of the meal easy to eat, and especially when he might be tired or extra distracted.

What about something like a Yoto or Tonie Box, or Audible on your phone, so you can listen to stories as you both eat (or he can, whilst you get on with other things)?

I agree with a previous poster. Toddlers have small stomachs and can't physically fit a lot of food in. Having small meals and regular healthy snacks would enable him to eat more and keep his blood sugar stable too.

I notice my DC would eat like ravening pythons one day and then spend two or three days hardly eating anything at that age. They seemed to base their eating habits on an anaconda or tiger. It was most worrying.

@skkyelark He’s slow with chewing and lazy with cutlery. He can use cutlery perfectly fine, but I think he finds it frustrating so generally eats better if it’s something he can eat with his hands. And he’s much quicker with meals like spaghetti or porridge that are easy to chew vs. Chicken that requires more chewing.

@givemushypeasachance good advice thanks. I don’t give treat snack foods often. I normally give things like oat cakes, cheese, fruit, breadsticks or homemade biscuits. The occasional pack of Pombears 😆 but not frequently enough that he’s expecting it.

My 3 year old goes through phases of absolutely hoovering food up, when he's having a growth spurt or developmental leap. At other times when he's not eating as much I just put out a much smaller plate of dinner and he knows he can ask for more if he wants it. There's always some more pasta, soup, risotto, curry, whatever, in the pot.

Then off he goes to play and I pop a plate of chopped fruit, and maybe some cheese, sliced chicken breast, or oatcakes on there too. Inevitably he'll eat some of that while he's playing if he's still hungry, otherwise it's easy enough to pop in a tub in the fridge for tomorrow.

I doubt your son is losing weight. He'll have eaten a lot, stretched up the way, then plateaued. The appetite will come roaring back when he needs it. Don't worry about what he eats on a day to day basis. Worry about what he eats over the week or even over the course of a month.

We also don't do any snacks at all between lunch and dinner. None. There is one snack time between breakfast and lunch of something healthy, and dinner is just really early. Usually 4pm but as early as 3:30 some days. He can have a healthy snack plate or
hot supper if still hungry later but it makes more sense to me to get the hot, calorie dense meal in him ASAP while he's hungry, rather than fill up on snacks first so that he can't fit in his dinner.