How to get over the house not being pristine

[FTM1993]

I'm a FTM to a 4 month old boy. Before I had him our house was always immaculate. I didn't spend excessive amounts of time cleaning but my partner and I always kept it clean and tidy I guess, and that's how I like it. I knew I would have to get over it once I had DS and let things slide a little and as long as DS is happy and healthy, who cares if the floors aren't hoovered and mopped! I now clean the house top to bottom once a week whilst my partner takes DS out on a Sunday for a few hours (no hate towards my partner, this works for us and I enjoy cleaning!) My MIL came over recently and remarked that my house looked 'lived in', whilst looking around with a bit of a disgusted face. I know for a fact it is not an unclean house, and if nothing else I always make sure the downstairs toilet is clean for guests and the kitchen is clean. Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by that comment? She knows how much pride I used to take in my house, and it's not like she has offered to help out in terms of childcare or cleaning, although I would not expect that of anyone anyway. I know I'm probably being super over sensitive about this but would anyone else be annoyed by that?! Also, any advice on how to get over the house being a little disordered when you have children, I'm still getting used to it!

I could have written this myself when my little one was 4 months. I really struggled to come to terms with things having to change.

I was very poorly after my c-section but I pushed myself to try and clean and do things which was a big mistake.

I'd say it's even harder from 4months + as you can just put them down and leave them.

I don't have advice as such but just know that it's normal. We can't be perfect and try and make peace that your baby is happy and healthy. It will get easier to juggle but it will take time! And remember your hormones are probably still all over the place and your feelings are different now.

Ignore that others say, or make a sarcastic comment back to them it might make you feel better 😂

My mum told me to just ride the waves (easier said than done when I'm a compulsive worrier).

But it will get better, DO NOT compare yourself to others is the most important thing. Social media was evil when I had my little boy, everyone was trying to be like Mrs Hinch which is bloody ridiculous, she's not a realistic person but I still felt I had to try.

I can laugh about it now 🙃

You're doing a great job, enjoy baby because it doesn't last long! 🤍

I would be offended. House it to be lived in not to show off. Soon your child will toddle around and will cause fair amount of mess. Maternity leave is to bond with a baby, to meet all of their needs not to be obsessed woth cleaning and judgemental comments.

Next time I would say: 'Yeah, we live in it, I am here on most challenging journey in my life and have better things to do than getting spoons lined up.'

Don't invite her round again. What a horrible thing to do to a new mother.

As someone with a 1 year old and 3 year old it just gets worse!
I’m someone who’s mood feeds off environment, a clean tidy house that’s clutter free does wonders for my stress levels. Luckily my DH is the same. But it takes a lot of effort for us to maintain a spotless house and it’s relentless. In the evening we will both spend a good hour after the kids go to bed tidying up dinner, food on the floor, highchair, laundry, a hoover etc and then by breakfast time the next morning it’s a bomb site again!