Hello, i'm a dad of 2 boys (6&11) and a girl (9), and step dad of 3 girls (7,12 & 17). Just looking for a little advice/help if anyone has had any similar experiences.
The mother of my kids and I split up when my youngest boy was 6 months old. He's now 6 years old. My kids have never gone long periods of time without seeing either parent - except my youngest when he was around 7/8 months old, he stayed with me for around 3/4 months and saw his mum every other weekend as she struggled with all 3 of them and trying to work.
Now at aged 6 all he can remember is living between two houses. He's 50/50 between us both, so he does 5 nights with me, 5 at his mums, 2 with me, 2 with his mum - and so do his older brother and sister. It's been like this for 6 years.
Behaviour wise he's starting to struggle in school. He struggles to concentrate, doesn't like leaving his mum when she drops him at school, doesn't behave well for her when on days out etc, then he's started getting into fights at school. We're going through an autism/ADHD assessment for him as his older brother is on the spectrum.
I struggle because he's absolutely golden for me, doesn't push boundaries etc but i'm strict on him being respectful and behaving. I've got 6 kids to keep in line so I have to be! But his behaviour at school is dropping and behaviour for his mum is at an all time low. I feel a bit helpless because there's not much I can do when i'm not there so feel frustrated. I also don't want to be used as an "i'll tell your dad" or to be called and asked to speak to him or tell him off. I can't parent what I can't see.
The drop off in behaviour has been over the last 6 months, last night he's asked his mum for a notebook before bed and written "Please help me mum" on two pages which is a bit upsetting. He's now with me for 6 nights as she's working extra tonight so he won't see her for nearly a week.
We just generally don't know what's best and it's difficult, any advice / questions massively appreciated.!