Preparing for the postpartum journey

[Nataliedb87]

How do you suggest to best prepare for the postpartum journey? I’m expecting my first and keep hearing how tough it will be but I don’t know what I can practically do now before baby arrives; any tips welcome. I’ve also had a history of depression and I’m worried I will be more susceptible to PND

What support do you have? Do you have a partner or family to help you?

It is tough, but it’s wonderful too. Enjoy the time and don’t worry about cleaning etc, as you will never have this experience again.
Make sure you have food in, as the only important thing is that you and baby are clean and fed.
If you’re having visitors, make use of them and ask them to bring you milk/bread etc.
Make sure your MW knows your history.

Stay in bed!! Honestly even if you feel good, don't think you can go for a walk or lift heavy things. You can do serious damage to your pelvic floor and general recovery. I regret not taking my recovery more seriously. I think a good rule of thumb is a week in bed, a week on the bed and a week around the bed.

Lower your standards with stuff like cleaning and tidying, it doesn’t matter if things are a mess for a bit. Accept that baby is just going to want to sleep on you and feed a lot so don’t have any high expectations of managing everything else at home as well. Get food in that’s easy to cook or requires very little preparation and get your shopping delivered.

Physically - take things slow and don’t overdo it! Plonk yourself on the sofa/bed and do as little as possible. You’ll see a lot of posters on here saying they were doing xyz days after giving birth but my advice is just take everything super slow.

Thanks all for the advice. I have a partner who is not the most emotionally intelligent shall we say so I do wonder how much comfort he will provide. My parents are an hour away but mum said she’d be happy to come stay with us or more locally if I/we need her.

I think in the early days and weeks you actually need less emotional support and more practical support. Your mental health is important, but actually what it hinges on more than anything is you getting enough to eat and drink, enough sleep, a bath or shower every day, some fresh air.

You need a partner who you can hand baby off to throughout the day so you can go to bed and sleep. And you need someone who will share the nights, even if you’re breastfeeding. Babies don’t really sleep except on you for probably at least a month. You’ll probably be able to put baby down to sleep a bit in the first week. This is great. Make the most of it! After that, they often cry unless held. So you need to each take half the night for holding and feeding the baby while the other sleeps. If you’re breastfeeding, your partner brings the baby to you and takes them back and you go back to sleep. This often comes as a shock to people, but I think if you set expectations now, it’s easier. Even when your partner is back to work, they will survive on 4-5 hours of sleep for a few weeks.

If you plan to breastfeed, I can’t recommend enough collecting and freezing colostrum in the last few weeks of pregnancy. It made a huge difference in terms of weight gain and breastfeeding success for the one I did it with.

Hey OP. If you have a history of depression has your midwife or gp referred you to your local perinatal mental health team? They usually look after women who are pregnant with mental health problems and up until a year after the birth of the baby. Even if you are not unwell at the moment and don't require a caseworker from the mental health team, perhaps you can be made known to them if you do require any advice or support after your baby arrives?

My baby is four months old. I have a history of mental health problems and was on the radar of the PN mental health team whilst I was pregnant, as I take medication that meant extra monitoring for the baby during the pregnancy and delivery. I was well during pregnancy. I stayed on their caseload afterwards which was good because sadly I have developed PND and have had some trauma from the birth. The mental health team have been an amazing source of support though and have really helped me and my husband cope.

Even with these difficulties I am managing. Something I would recommend is trying to keep to a routine for yourself as best you can, however that might look for you. For me I made sure I showered daily and had enough water to drink and food prepared which I could eat quickly with my hands and didn't need heating.

Before the baby came I made a list of my early warning signs for a mental health episode coming on and what can often trigger them and I shared this in a document with my husband as well as coping strategies I use. So, he could suggest to me if I was feeling really down to take a short 15 minute walk or do some mindfulness or deep breathing exercises.

If your partner isn't that wise to mental health then this approach could really help.

That's my advice for preparing for the postpartum journey from a mental health perspective. Good luck, you'll be great x