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Parenting

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Original poster

Sick child… go to work do?

13 replies

Moneybum · 30/01/2025 01:23

Not sure why I am even asking as think this is probably pretty obvious…

my son (16m) has just thrown up. My daughter threw up a few nights ago and now has diarrhoea. We initially put her chuck up down to gagging because of her cough & cold, but tummy bug seems pretty obvious.

anyway, I have an overnight work event. Is it despicable to be considering going? DH is around and well (at the moment). I know I should cancel in case the vomiting gets worse / passes to him too, but honestly, feel like I won’t be believed by colleagues. The timing suuuuuuuucks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

JoyousGreyOrca · 30/01/2025 01:25

I would go. DH can look after the children.

BettyBardMacDonald · 30/01/2025 01:27

Don't take that illness to co-workers!

JoyousGreyOrca · 30/01/2025 01:29

@BettyBardMacDonald so OP should phone in sick to work every time her children are ill and throwing up? No one does that. With some small children you would hardly be at work

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RickiRaccoon · 30/01/2025 01:39

With 2 kids throwing up and diarrhoea, I probably wouldn't -- unless it's a VERY important work function. And you'd owe your DH big time if you do leave him to deal with that.

BettyBardMacDonald · 30/01/2025 01:53

JoyousGreyOrca · 30/01/2025 01:29

@BettyBardMacDonald so OP should phone in sick to work every time her children are ill and throwing up? No one does that. With some small children you would hardly be at work

A party is discretionary.

mindutopia · 30/01/2025 10:07

I would go, as long as you are well. Don’t make all your co-workers ill. Your Dh will manage just as well as you will. Dh was away for both our first vomiting bug and for chicken pox. You just get on with it.

BoredZelda · 30/01/2025 10:09

A party is discretionary.

Where does it say there is a party?

Whoarethoseguys · 30/01/2025 10:11

JoyousGreyOrca · 30/01/2025 01:25

I would go. DH can look after the children.

Edited

And possibly infect her colleagues with norovirus or some other horrible bug?

TwilightAb · 30/01/2025 10:25

RickiRaccoon · 30/01/2025 01:39

With 2 kids throwing up and diarrhoea, I probably wouldn't -- unless it's a VERY important work function. And you'd owe your DH big time if you do leave him to deal with that.

Just a thought, if it was the other way round and her DH had a work thing to go to, would he then owe her big time if he went and she was left to deal with it?

notatinydancer · 30/01/2025 10:27

RickiRaccoon · 30/01/2025 01:39

With 2 kids throwing up and diarrhoea, I probably wouldn't -- unless it's a VERY important work function. And you'd owe your DH big time if you do leave him to deal with that.

As long as her DH would owe her big time as well. He is their parent.

WhatIsCorndogs · 30/01/2025 10:40

Definitely don't go. You could pass it to someone immunocompromised, or even if not, you could ruin someone else's weekend. Diseases like this spread because people don't stay at home.

Scirocco · 30/01/2025 11:05

So, one child with diarrhoea, one child with one episode of vomiting which could be the start of the same bug that's potentially caused the first child's diarrhoea. Both parents physically well in themselves, and one has a work commitment. I suppose the key questions are whether the parent without the work commitment feels competent to manage the situation as it is, and what contingency plans can be put in place for if that changes. In our family, there wouldn't be an issue with one parent managing things at home while the other fulfils the work commitment; we'd just make sure to be contactable if needed. If you're feeling that old classic of mum guilt, flip it round and think if the situation would be as guilt-inducing if dad had the work commitment. If one parent doesn't feel able to manage the situation, are there things that can be done so that they can feel able to do so (either now or in the future, as this is going to crop up again)?

However, if you're looking for an excuse to get out of going, graphic accounts of childhood D+V can be a great foundation for a "so, I can't possibly come to your event, what a shame" excuse, especially with the warning of "it seems very contagious and I'd simply hate to give it to you".

Original poster

Moneybum · 30/01/2025 21:17

TwilightAb · 30/01/2025 10:25

Just a thought, if it was the other way round and her DH had a work thing to go to, would he then owe her big time if he went and she was left to deal with it?

Show quote history

To be fair, my view would be, yes he would.

Things that are easier as a team, if you get left to handle solo, require a banked IOU whoever dips out - me or him.

I decided not to go. Everyone’s comments helped me decide, ultimately, my son has had a temp today and he is too little (to me) for me to feel ok about it. And I felt queasy and norovirus is not the gift to give.

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