Hi so long story, sorry.
my daughter is 9 and currently in year 4.
shes bright, always loved school and her teachers have always loved her. Never had a problem and never heard anything bad about her from anyone always nothing but praise. In September starts year 4, within the first week is having a couple of girls coming up to her saying horrible things, dd tells her teacher numerous times in the first 1 week of year 4 that these couple of girls where being unkind and it was upsetting her, nothing was done. The next week dd again went a couple of times to a number of different teachers and again nothing was done. I went in myself to speak to a teacher on the 2nd week of year 4 as my daughter came out of school hysterical from comments about her skin colour and body hair ( dd is half Pakistani so naturally very dark thick hair and tanned skin, she is absolutely beautiful!) the school isn’t mixed, we are one of the only Muslim families.things seemed to calm down for a couple of weeks, I will mention these unkind comments and problems with these same couple of girls started towards the end of year 3 but dd had always been managed to resolve them by herself. Fast forward to October 2023 parents evening, I go in expecting to hear nothing but good things about dd as usual, I did get the usual, she’s very bright and polite, then the teacher started saying “ oh and she’s still touching herself” I laughed for a minute then it hit me and I said “what??” As I’ve never ever heard this before. She said “ oh she’s still touching herself under tables and we have to keep reminding her school isn’t the place” I said “ no one has ever brought this up to me before and I have never been told this before” she said “ oh I’m sorry, I thought you knew, she was doing it in year 3 too, sorry if there has been miscommunication “ I didn’t really like this teachers tone and got an off feeling from her right from the get go, my daughter had an extremely good close relationship with her previous year 3 teacher and I got on well with that teacher and she never even once mentioned this to me so I didn’t know what to believe. I asked dd, she said she does do it sometimes, doesn’t put her hands down her tights just rubs on the outside of her tights, I obviously told her this wasn’t ok to be doing at school and she broke down crying saying she doesn’t know she does it and it’s because she’s stressed and so unhappy at school and that she constantly tells teachers, numerous different teachers but nothing ever gets done and that she just wants to enjoy school and wants to be left alone but she can’t cope with it. I spoke to her teacher and even the headteacher and was told it got sorted. Heard nothing since October but my daughter has still been coming home nearly every day from school saying she dislikes her teacher, that she seems to just hate her and she always seems to have a problem with her, and also complaining numerous times a week that she is getting bullied, isn’t happy, that she’s reported it too a number of different teachers but nothing gets done, this is almost daily she comes out of school complaining about her teacher not seeming to like her and the same 2 couple of girls. Today I get a phone call from the debuty headteacher and I naturally panic, she told me my daughter was ok but she has to call me because my daughter is still touching herself under tables and I need to discuss with her that this isn’t appropriate behaviour, I told the teacher I have spoke to her in October when the teacher spoke to me and that my daughter broke down and told me she is stressed and it helps her calm down because she’s unhappy at school, I told her I told my daughter this was wrong and she shouldn’t be doing this at school no matter the reason but we’d try and get this sorted. I told her my daughter is getting bullied and not happy at school and that she is coming home every day complaining, she has told me she will speak to my daughter and investigate into this but I just don’t know what to do.
Ive been crying all morning, the teacher said to me in the past that she does it under tables so is the teacher just looking at my daughter under tables or is she doing her job of teaching for her to be keep saying this?I don’t get it.
im waiting till dd gets out of school to hear her side of the story but she is complaining about her teacher and the same 2 couple of girls daily. Should I be taking this further? Im so upset, does anyone have any advice of what I should do?