I have 2yo DC and a newborn. I'm starting to worry that my weaknesses and insecurities are going to let my DC down.
I know that we absorb so much from our parents (have accepted I'm turning into my DM in some ways!). And I'm worried I don't have that much to give DC.
I can already see that my social ineptitude is causing my toddler to lead a fairly quiet social life. We don't get invited anywhere, there are no play dates, the NCT group has splintered and I've just not kept up. I take DC to activities but never gel with the other parents, and struggle with continuity so attendance is never frequent enough to maintain anything.
I feel totally overwhelmed at the prospect of trying to initiate social stuff. Nothing feels natural. My small talk is pathetic with other parents and new acquaintances. Either totally surface level or I end up asking WAY too many questions and alienating them.
I really cannot maintain friendships without it feeling exhausting. I'll go weeks between replying to messages simply by forgetting or never getting round to it. I also have lovely non-parent friends in my life who are super supportive, but it just ends up feeling awkward and like a chore. I spend my time counting down to leaving regardless of who I'm with.
In contradiction to my post I wouldn't actually say I'm massively low in confidence, I know myself more now probably that ever. I can have people pleasing tendancies but for example at work I will not be walked over. I'm not overly loud, but I'm certainly not quiet or shy. I just don't think very highly of myself and I'm very aware I'm entirely average and living a pretty nondescript life.
I can feel lonely at times, but I would happily carry on if it weren't for DC. I'm now just worried that they'll end up as socially awkward and mediocre as me. Like, I don't have what it takes to help them meet their potential.
This thread is a bit of a jumble, but I guess what I'm saying is how can you avoid passing on your limitations to your kids? I would hate to think of DC in a couple of decades having to write such a pathetic post.