Has anyone’s baby stopped feeding to sleep and/or slept through the night without training?

[NimbleOchreEagle]

My now 8 month old baby has always breastfed to sleep. I sometimes bottle feed her as a last feed but she never falls asleep bottle feeding and always wants to breastfeed when she’s finished with the bottle and then sleeps. We co sleep, which started about 6 months old due to pure exhaustion on my part, she was ill and woke 10+ times at night for a few weeks. It was quick and easy to get her back to sleep breastfeeding in my bed. I want to stop co sleeping . She wakes between 3-6 times a night at present. She’s never slept through . I think she wakes to comfort nurse mostly or to check im there (started to hold onto me sleeping) and sometimes for a snack. I get no help at night and so all night wakings are for me to deal with and 8 months in I am TIRED.
I don’t want to do CIO. I just wondered if anyone had their baby just grow out of feeding to sleep and just naturally sleep longer or must I train this ? I’m not sure where to start with the co sleeping. She’s my first child and I really feel I’ve messed up sleep. She is and always has been a clingy baby who wants to be in my arms 24/7.
any advice appreciated

You don’t have to do CIO. I night-weaned my daughter at 9 months. I just cuddled and rocked her back to sleep. The first few times she was apoplectic with rage, but got the message quickly and in 2 nights her sleep was transformed. Night time as well as naps, as she didn’t need breastfeeding to get to sleep. Life changing!

Lots of people never do any sleep training (and it often doesn’t really work for those who do it so they end up waiting out developmental changes in sleep anyway). Both mine stopped feeding to sleep because they just stopped (at 9 and probably 15 months) and yes, they did eventually sleep through the night, but probably closer to age 3 on a regular basis. That’s not saying they never slept through before then, but they were 3 before they seemed to sleep through every night. I think that’s pretty typical.

Possibly depends on your definition on sleep training. Similar to pp I night weaned and started refusing to breastfeed between nighttime hours and my baby cried a lot but eventually got used to it after a couple days. That definitely improved her sleep.

I then later started putting her to bed in her cot (I stayed next to the cot) instead of bed sharing with me and again she was not happy and cried a lot but then got used to it. I believe that’s a form of sleep training but it felt a very similar experience to night weaning which isn’t.

My son used to wake up every hour / two hours but he just didn’t have the temperament for CIO.

That being said I did do a very gradual form of sleep training. First we tried to stop feeding to sleep by switching to rocking to sleep, then slowly we’d work on rocking him less and less so we were putting him in the cot more awake each time. Then we worked on moving further away/leaving the room when he was still awake. This has all been over around 2 months and he still wakes a couple of times a night but we’re happy with this approach and he is happy and settled at bedtime.

I think when you want to make a change it will take time for them to get used to it and you will need to support them through it (which some people might consider to be sleep training)

Do you think she's still feeding for hunger during the night? If yes I would wait a bit longer..
If no then I would feed at bedtime and drop the other feeds gradually, offer water or a cracker..
You might want to put her in the cot first and tackle that problem first..have it beside bed so baby still feeds close you, you can pat her, hold her hand but no sleeping in bed and she goes back to cot after every feed.
You can't tackle the Co sleeping and feeding at the same time I think, it would be too much on her..

You haven't messed her sleep up.
I didn't want to do CIO and we breastfed & co slept.
For longer than you, but sometimes its harder than others because they go through sleep regressions etc.
I focused on the positives, we travelled loads and co sleeping and breastfeeding made that feel so easy for us.
I probably could've weaned etc earlier if my baby took to solids well but she did not, she barely ate solids for such a long time and withholding breastfeeding didn't help, she wasn't motivated enough and would wait all day through nursery without eating.
I actually day weaned first when she was a little under 2, because she started to understand the idea of waiting to nurse at bedtime and it helped encourage her to eat more solids in the day.
Then when she was about 2.5 the feeding to sleep just stopped working at all, it took her ages to fall asleep and it was hurting me, it didn't resettle her well when she woke up in the night etc. None of us were sleeping well.
We'd already set up a double floor bed in her own room so my husband started trying to put her to sleep because with me she was furious and refused to accept anything except breastfeeding.
She cried quite a bit in the first few weeks but my husband cuddled and rocked and stayed with her. When she woke in the night he brought her into me to feed back to sleep but eventually she woke up less and he was able to resettle her himself. He coslept with her for a few months.
She's almost 3 now and I can put her to sleep and resettle her without breastfeeding though she's made it clear she still would if I let her so I think she's just super attached to it!
She stays in her own room and a quick book and cuddle puts her to sleep. Sometimes she sleeps through the night, sometimes she wakes up once but its miles better than it was. If she's not well or something she might wake up more often.
I had wanted her to wean naturally and it all happen with zero tears but it wasn't an option for us. We accepted the crying that had to happen because it became a necessity for us, but my husband stayed with her the whole time and cuddled her. We wouldn't have left her to cry alone.
As another person mentioned, I don't think we could have weaned and stopped cosleeping all at once. We did the weaning first then rolled back the cosleeping.

I think most wake ups are comfort as she will nurse and fall asleep quickly - in minutes. I think 1 a night could be hunger as she’s fussier and can sometimes be up for 1-2 hours for just that one wake up and it’s usually around 1/2am every morning . She will nurse the whole time on and off. But I suppose that could be comfort too. I hate this long wake up as I sometimes cannot fall asleep again afterwards.
I did try nursing her to sleep them moving to the cot next to my bed a few weeks ago but she kept waking as soon as she touched the cot so I stopped. I need to try again and persevere!

All the messages and advice is so helpful. I will definitely tackle the night weaning and co sleeping one at a time. I’m now hopeful she will wean herself at night as others have said but if not, then not letting her feed at night for some feeds could be how I start. I definitely think any wakes before midnight are comfort!
when she was around 1 I was considering getting a large floor bed in her room so I could nurse to sleep then roll away to my own bed but I don’t know if that would solve anything.

My little one is 2 now. From around 9m he started naturally sleeping longer stretches (occasionally sleeping through but not often). We waited until after 12m to limit any overnight feeds so before then I fed him back to sleep at every wake, which varied from 0-3a night. At 15m we night weaned by sending dad in for every wake other than 1 overnight to cuddle back to sleep, he was only usually waking once or twice by then. Then we moved to all wakes being done by dad. Around that time he started sleeping through around half the time or just waking once , but could have been developmental rather than weaning.

Not long after that I stopped feeding to sleep before bed, one day I just said "cuddle mummy?" And he didn't protest so I let that carry on. Until then I was happy to feed to sleep as he would still let dad put him to bed if needed and his overnights improved by themselves. He does need us still in the night if he wakes, unless it's just a brief stir. This is because he still does not fall asleep by himself and we have never tried to teach or push this. I love cuddling him or holding his hand to sleep while he lies in the cot. He points to his bed now and asks to be put in, we didn't initiate this. There are ways to get them comfortable with falling asleep alone without leaving them alone or to cry, but it does take longer and we just aren't that bothered. Putting him to bed takes 10mins

You've had lots of good advice already, so sending solidarity. Night times are hard! And no, you haven't "messed up" sleep. If you have a velcro baby, surviving the first year sleep deprivation is a huge achievement. My first was a very difficult sleeper as a baby - at age 5 he is now finally happily going to sleep by himself and sleeping through every night. It doesn't last forever, as much as it feels like it will at the time.

You haven't messed anything up please don't say that. There's no manual on parenthood especially babies. Every baby is completely different. My DD11 was a fantastic sleeper since day 1. No issues except sometimes the regressions. She has a wee brother from her dad and step mum and that boy didn't sleep more than and hour. Her dad had it so easy with her and then shock to the system. He's just over 6 months now and does a 4 hour stretch at night and a few weeks naps during the day. He's a hungry boy where as my DD wasn't. You will find a way that works for you. Remember to sleep during the day when baby is sleeping and get rest too. X

Is there another parent on the scene, or someone trusted who could put her to bed? We got much longer stretches when my partner started putting our DC to bed (after I'd done a final breastfeed). He had a few nights of DC being very upset at the change but his dad was there holding/comforting him the whole time, and he soon learned it was ok.

Mine slept through for the first time at around 9 months. It wasn't every night but it got more and more frequent.

I really tried to give her plenty of milk and calories in the day which I think helped. Otherwise it just happened naturally. You can also try giving water in a bottle overnight instead of milk. It can help them to lose interest.

Yes but not until about 16 months. My Dd was very similar and I never wanted to sleep train. We co slept for a long time. At about 14months we put her in her own room and it actually really improved her sleep. But we still always responded when she cried, for a few months I’d end up bringing her into bed with me at some point in the night and then she just stopped waking in the night so much. Now she sleeps through most nights unless she’s ill or something.

We could have perhaps put her in her own room a bit sooner but it felt like she was ready at that point.

She's so young so deffo don't night wean as she will be getting so much nutrition through the night still and could really affect her. We never did any sleep training and when my son was 13/14 months he stopped feeding in the night and slept through . Breast fed him till 2 and a half. He seemed to sleep through when his solid intake picked up during the day. I did absolutely nothing different.

My child night weaned on her own at 9 months when we put her in her own room. She'd been waking 3-4 times a night when she was in our room, but almost immediately started sleeping through when she was on her own. It was like magic. (we had laid some of the groundwork by doing the rocking/cuddling to sleep instead of feeding to sleep as PPs have suggested, so she was only on 1 breastfeed a night at that point).
Really hope you get something similar!

Firstly just to reiterate thst you haven't done anything wrong. Some babies are just more wakeful than others and you've found strategies to manage that as best you can. Mine slept through for 3 months without me doing anything and then inexplicably stopped at 6 months, and from 18 months onwards she's slept through more and more often. At 30m she can sleep through every night for weeks at a time. No sleep training or night weaning, just development.

There's nothing wrong with co-sleeping if that's working for you, but if you'd like to move away from it then definitely a floor bed is the way to go. You can feed and then roll away or even co-sleep if you cba to get up again.

Just a word of caution on night weaning - consider why you are doing it. If you are doing it in the hope that your baby will wake up less, be prepared that that is unlikely at that age. If your baby wakes up for comfort, they will still need comfort, whether or not you breastfeed them. Given tha t breastfeeding gives you both sleepy hormones, you may be giving up your best tool for getting you both back to sleep quickly.

If you're wanting to night wean just because you're fed up of the actual breastfeeding part then that's obviously a valid goal in itself and you can use other methods for comforting - it just may be more difficult. Habit stacking may help you with this i.e. layering in other sleep associations/comfort measures like bum pats and singing. When those are established, you can then remove the one that you're not enjoying, so in this case breastfeeding.

Good luck!

Yes didn’t sleep train with either of mine, fed on demand and continued to co-sleep - they slept through eventually!! But 8-10 months was the worst sleep pattern for both so i appreciate how hard it is. Look up Lynsey hookway for some decent info on how to support gently if that is what you would like to do!

I never sleep trained and breastfed. The night wakings reduced as they reached a year old to about once a night. Sometimes I co slept but generally they went back to sleep in their cots and were put to bed at 7-8 pm in their cots with a bedtime routine. Bathtime, song/story, last feed, lay down in cot awake but drowsy. Stay near in darkness till fell asleep in cots. Then when they woke in night it was the same feed till drowsy then co sleep or mostly back in cot.
Also in day three meals a day and lots of breastfeeds (5???)
Are they getting plenty of solids protein fruit and veg /carbs? Fresh air activity crawling kicking movement. A long nap in afternoon till 4pm max

Never ever needed to sleep train or leave to cry more than a minute or needed to restrict night feeds.

Sorry first line was never sleep trained but breastfed and baby learnt to sleep through naturally (all 3 babies )

My theory is you have to practice putting them down to sleep in the DAY without feeding to sleep ,- leave a gap of five minutes to put them down after a feed in their pram or cot or travel cot and then they learn the association with cosy safe sleep after a feed but you don't need to literally feed them to sleep lying next to them. You can stay in the room next to them. Transitional objects helped too..ds1 had a knotty rabbit cloth. Not sure if you are allowed to have pieces of cloth in cots any more or muslins but that's what we had 25 years ago as transitional objects

Also habit stacking is a brilliant trick ..for us it was lullabies. I used to sing Little Boy Blue and O Winter Sun and their eyelids would start drooping with or without a feed, so saved it for sleep times only

You've definitely not messed up sleep. I have 3 DC and they've all been completely different it really does depend on the child. My first DC slept through the night from about 4 months. No sleep training. He's 11 now and has always loved his sleep. My second DS weaned from the breast naturally at 13 months. He was happy for either me or DP to put him back to sleep when he woke mainly by rocking. He's 6 now and has only reliably slept through for a couple of years.
Third DC is hard work!! She's just 2 but still breastfeeds to sleep. Won't accept anything else. If DP comes in the room on one of her 2/3 wakes a night she screams blue murder. So I am STILL 2 years on getting up several times a night to feed her back to sleep. I'm hopeful she will wean before she starts uni and may sleep through before then too. Send me gin.

My BF baby weaned herself so it can happen, she was always fed to sleep too and on wakings fed back to sleep. But I think this is pure luck, and by 8 months she was sleeping much better too she was waking once or twice. She loved solids so was dropping/reduced her feeds in the day quite quickly and preferring food instead, then at bedtime she used to feed one side for ages then be asleep and I'd try put her down but she'd wake, then she'd feed the other side and go down. But she started to be asleep after one side or if she woke not want the other side and just be rocked, then she started sleeping through or if she woke early partner would go in. At 13.5 months she stopped bf, at bedtime I'd always offer it but she started to push me away and suck her thumb and just want rocking instead and so I stopped offering and she never went to feed again!

Not RTFT but same here. I started offering DS water at night instead of feeding. Gave him cuddles. He cried when he woke up and was clearly cross because he wanted a feed, but then he suddenly started sleeping through.
It was clear the night waking had become a habit rather than a need. It only took a few nights I think too.