Need to vent.. tell me it gets better!?

[Angelcakelover]

I've really been feeling the stress and exhaustion lately. To top it all off, DD (11 months) has had a cold for the past week so it's been even harder. She sleeps in the bed with me most of the time.. everytime I've tried to get her to sleep in her own bed it's failed recently. She woke me up so many times last night, at one point crying cause she'd lost her dummy. I feel worn out 😫 I feel like since becoming a mum I've really lost that sense of who I am. I get plenty of help from DP and MIL but I still struggle a whole lot. Evenings aren't as enjoyable recently as one of us (or both of us) has to lay in the bed with her to get her to sleep and then stay there. I don't get as much quality time with DP anymore either and that's caused some issues for me. There's a bit of tension there sometimes, especially as I can't remember the last time we had sex (kinda hard when DD is often in our bed!!). I don't get much time to do anything for myself and even when I do (when DP or MIL takes DD somewhere) I just want to lay there and do nothing. I've lost a lot of motivation. Any tips/advice/words of support would be great. Tell me it gets better at least.. anyone?

Oh I feel for you OP. It's one of the hardest phases. Hang in there, it does get easier.

Everyone has their own ways of making it work, but for us, it was getting them asleep in their own cot and into a rhythm of regular bedtime routine.

Hi OP - firstly yes, of course it will get better. That sounds really tough, my DD’s are 5 & 18 months so I do understand. Every month that ticks by your life will get a little easier, from my experience anyway. My one piece of advice would be to gently get them used to being in their own bed in their own room. At this point with both my children I felt like I regained some of my life back and had some evening time as a couple and to myself. Big hugs it’s not easy.

It does get better. We moved to a floor bed at that age and made their room baby proof. I’d feed them to sleep then roll away. They’d sleep for a few hours which meant I’d have my evenings with DH then I’d bring them up to bed when they woke for the night.
it’s all about surviving.

Thanks everyone! There were times we made progress with her sleeping in her own bed but then she got this cold and she has refused to sleep anywhere other than my bed. She seems a lot better now, only a tiny bit of cold left. But I think she's now slipped into the habit of sleeping in my bed so it will be even harder trying to get her to sleep alone again. Ugh. It's tough. My evenings have gone down the gutter 😢

Not a lot you can do when she's ill but the sleeping, what helped us was teaching our son to fall asleep by himself in his bed. We did a very gradual approach of laying with him, sitting next to the cot with a hand on his tummy, hand on his arm. And so on until we were able to get him to fall asleep with out us in the room. It took a few weeks. That way if he woke in the night he could just put himself back to sleep.

The other issue we had was the dummy, he would wake for it and need someone to find it for him. So we got rid of the dummy, first in the day then at night. It was actually easier doing it younger as he wasn’t as emotionally attached as an older child can be.

After that he slept 8-6 in his own bed. When he dropped naps he slept 7-7.

Makes a lot of sense, thank you! Although getting rid of the dummy would prove to be the biggest challenge. I'll have to see what I can do

My LO is the same. What I do is cuddle him to sleep roll away, then he manages about 30 minutes by himself and then when he stirs I cuddle him and bring him into the sitting room so I can at least watch TV with my DH. We are getting longer stretches as hes getting older.