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Selfish Dad?

4 replies

m33kkt · 28/01/2025 05:18

Hi there,
I've just had to start back work early from maternity leave because my boyfriend lost his job. My son is 8 months and i was supposed to have the year off. Unfortunately this is during my son's 3-2 nap transition so he's not exactly sleeping well during the night when he used to sleep the whole night! I work as a nurse so it's 12 hour shifts on my feet so me and dad agreed he would do nights while i'm working ( i only work 3 days a week) as i used to do all the night feeds before he lost his job. On day 6 now of getting up with baby at 3am and having to stay up. I'm even doing it on my days off! i'm absolutely exhausted and everytime i wake up dad because the baby monitor is going off he starts arguing with me or doesn't look after the baby properly so i have to take over. Dad goes to bed late every night so he thinks it's fair that i have to do the whole night even now that im back at work because he goes to bed at 1am. I think im losing my mind with tiredness. And i cant seem to debate this healthily with him because i am so tired and snappy and he's snappy bc he's an arsehole. tips???

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
m33kkt · 28/01/2025 05:29

we have spoken during the day and everyday he says i'm so sorry i'll do it tonight because u need sleep etc etc. then in the middle of the night is nasty to me if i try and get him up or will purposely not do it right when he knows how to and used to all the time before i went to work on weekends when he was off.

OP posts:
Blue278 · 28/01/2025 05:36

It’s not ‘only’ three shifts. If they’re 12 hours that’s full time work.
Can you sleep in a separate room and move baby in with him so he has no choice?
Sorry you got one of those useless men. You don’t find out until first baby arrives.

Lijay1 · 28/01/2025 07:02

So he's not working now and you're still doing all the night wakings? I bet when you were on maternity leave and he was at work he insisted you do the night wakings because he has to work. Now the shoes on the other foot he doesn't believe that stance anymore?
Going to bed at 1am is his choice. That's no reason to not look after a baby at 3am.
I'm on maternity leave, my husband works. I do 4 night wakings a week, he does 3. It's not sustainable to do all of them.

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gradygals · 21/07/2025 19:26

Get rid of Mr Lazy. You're doing it all anyway.

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