Sleep training- Controlled crying not working

[Gurla]

The time has come to 'sleep train' our bf to sleep 10 months old baby.
Bath, feed, burp and leave in cot, go in every 2 minutes, comfort and leave again.
We did this with our now 2 and half year old, he is an amazing independent sleeper. The first few nights were hard, it got easier, still going in to comfort for a while and we will even do it now if he needs us. And I still fed him if he woke in the night until around 13 months when he just slept through.
But our second is hating it!!! It got to 30 minutes and I had to stop. This has been the same for the whole week.
My question is what else can I do? I know he's a different baby but it's hard when you did something with your first that isn't working with your second. But I'd love my evenings back, I don't mind him waking in the night to fed but to go to sleep on his own would really help a tired mum of 2 out xx

Is the goal for them not to be BF to sleep? Out of curiosity, if you're happy to feed overnight, why not at the start of the night if its easiest? (That is a genuine question - hard to convey tone!)

There are other ways - you could reduce length of time you feed gradually. You could do 'habit stacking' (Lyndsey hookway on IG has good info on this). Can someone else do the bedtime so you're not an 'option'?

Going in every 2 minutes might be the issue and could just be winding them up further. I know it worked for your first but babies aren’t all the same and with controlled crying it’s usually recommended you increase the intervals, because that’s what’s effective for most babies.

Ferber would say day 1 should be 3,5,10 minutes then keep checking every 10, day 2 would be 5,10,12 and you keep building up (you can google the full schedule if you like). First night you’d brace for it take around 2 hours total. Now I’m not for a moment saying let your baby cry for that long if you’re not comfortable with it. But if you can’t stand more than 2 minutes before going in and no more than 30 minutes total, which would be totally fair enough, then I don’t think controlled crying is the best sleep training method for you.

As an alternative have you looked at gradual retreat (also known as disappearing chair) to see if it’s more in your comfort zone?

My reason is selfish really, as feeding him to sleep does work but it's taking longer and longer and I'm not getting an evening with my husband. We cant have the TV on loud as the baby looks at it 😂 and by the time he falls asleep I'm ready for bed too. Baby is starting nursery 2 months due to be returning back to work, so I wanted him to be use to not having me 🥹 Husband can rock him to sleep which helps me if I feel touched out. Ove not heard of Lyndsay, I'll have a look.

I think I'll definitely try not going in every 2 minutes and make the time longer, but I know knowing myself 30-40 minutes will be my maximum. Or maybe the chair is the right method, thank you for advice.