Hi,
So I was married to my ex for 10 years.we had two children now 9 & 7. 3 years ago I finally got strength to leave. He had alcohol and drug, as well mental health issues which came with a lot that I'm not sure if I'm ready to go into right now.
When I left with the two children I allowed him to see the children. He would see them here and there a few hours at a time nothing too much. We've since got into a pattern of the kids seeing their father a few hours a week. Over time he's been saying things to the kids like "your mum has shit on her face" I have eczema/acne on my face. "Your mum loves one child more so than the other","I'm going to get married again and you will have two mum's", "your mum left me because she had a boyfriend"etc. when iv spoken to him about to it, he denies it or says it's a joke and then says to the youngest who's only just turned 7 that you have to keep it a secret. The most recent one is my youngest has allergies but when she went to his flat. She had an allergic reaction where her eyes swelled up and her face. I get a call saying oh dd has had allergy. I assume he's given the antihistamine and is either bringing her back home or taking her to the hospital. When iv asked about the antihistamines he replied with "I don't have any".despite previously I had said keep antihistamines and calpol with you. He leaves them on their own and goes and gets the medicine then leaves them home with me. For the rest of the week no call or txt to say how is she. I feel like it's neglect. When questioned he gets defensive. I'm thinking now to stop contact or maybe keep it to once a month but it feels like I'm trying to leave all over again and that's scary. I'm not sure how he'd react or what to say to the children why daddy won't be seeing them? If you have any suggestions or advice please id really appreciate it.