What to do about night wakes in 12 month old, if anything?

[Leapfrog777]

Looking for a bit of advice/experiences. My DC (12 months) is generally a pretty good sleeper compared to a lot of babies but for the last couple of months we seem to be stuck at 1-2 wakes per night.

I know this isn’t the end of the world but I am back to work soon and I’d love to reduce down to 1 or hopefully no wakes/feeds apart from exceptions like illness or teething! DC was 2 months premature so is 10 months adjusted, in case that is relevant.

DC basically self settles for every nap and bedtime, so that doesn’t seem to be an issue. I am still BF and do feed every night wake because, to be honest, I’d rather a quick 10 minute feed and both of us back to sleep as opposed to spending an hour shushing or listening to crying on and off.

DC usually goes to bed about 6.30pm and is up for the day about 6.30am. The night wakes seem to regularly be a pattern of around midnight/1am and then 4/5am. Sometimes just the midnight one or just a 3/4am one. They have in the past slept 10-11 hours solid but that’s really been the exception.

Any advice, other than forcibly night weaning (which I don’t really want to do yet)? Did your DC grow out of this?

I do tend to rush in at night as soon as DC starts whining as I just want us to go back to sleep asap but I am wondering whether I should try and give them time to self settle unless crying?

Thanks in advance!

Night weaning is going to be the only real solution.

But you can definitely try seeing if she'll self-settle again, you know she can do it so no harm in running an experiment to see.

What happens if your partner goes in when she wakes?

How often do you bf? Could you do a bf before bed and bottle during night and split load with partner?

Why are you against night weaning? As@NuffSaidSam says it’s your obvious answer

Sorry when I said I don’t want to night wean, I don’t mean it’s a bad thing, I suppose as DC was premature I’ve always been anxious about their size and whether they do still need the milk overnight.

I agree though that it may be the only answer, particularly when I’m back at work.

I thought after 12 months you’re not really supposed to use bottles, so I guess it would be trying a cup of something instead? I also don’t want to have to pump as want my supply to adjust so would cows milk at night be suitable? So many things to think about.

DC feeds on demand really, usually a few times a day (morning, maybe one nap and bedtime) and whenever they wake in the night - which is probably what I need to try and stop. Like I said in the reply just now, I thought you’re meant to try and phase out bottles after age 1?

Oh meant to respond re my partner - they could go in sometimes but they work away most of the week so it’s just not something we could do every night, unfortunately.

I sent this text to my husband this morning

Wake ups
Midnight
1am
1.30
2am
2.30
4am
5.45
6.20
😐

about our 12 month old (DH had gone into our 3yos room at 4am because she was awake and not going back to sleep)

I’m already back at work

Dont bother night weaning, if he’s self settling to sleep then I think it’s fine and you should keep the overnight feed as he will get less milk in the day once you’re at work. I’d personally just put up with the one or two wakes 😂

Mean to say, if you night weaning then you potentially lose the quick way you have of getting him back to sleep. There’s a risk you wean and then he still wakes but he’s up for ages and won’t settle. One or two short wake ups is preferable to one or more long ones IMO.

I have seen a couple of lactation consultants online saying that night weaning doesn’t mean they won’t wake the same amount but that you eventually lose that tool to get them back to sleep so easily.

Lucy Webber feeding support on Instagram has lots of useful info for all ages and stages of feeding. Also The Breastfeeding Mentor is another good page that has info on night weaning.

It is developmentally normal to still wake in the night at this point. If it makes you feel better my 15month old still wakes several times a night but a quick breastfeed sends him straight back off most of the time.

Night weaning hasn't made any of mine sleep though, but it does mean it's not solely your problem, so it's useful in that sense.

Mine decided at six months that feeds in the night were a time to play and that even after loads of milk, they would have a screaming session if I wouldn't play with them ☠️ it's a sad day when the feed-to-sleep stops working.

I swapped that night feed for a bottle and LO decided not to wake if there was no chance of playing with mummy. But that's an easy decision to make if your baby has already stopped easily settling after a feed.

We just co-slept. I did wean at around 15 months (the one who was still bf), but basically I was the same as you: max sleep was my goal. Neither of mine would have slept as well in their own rooms as with me. So I kept them with me. The only reason I weaned at 15 months was because I was going away for a week and it was easier and felt like the right time. I wasn’t up for running back and forth settling them every night. I just wanted to sleep, so just co-sleeping worked well (and wean if you want). It meant we got plenty of sleep.

Are they eating well in the day? I'd probably suggest cutting the feeds. My little one was still having a bottle til 11m when I decided to stop and she stopped waking for it (she still doesn't sleep through btw) but if I woke every night at 12pm and ate some toast, my body would wake me for it too!

Oh gosh, I do feel for you 😢 and I know 2 wakes is pretty dreamy for a lot of families so it’s not the end of the world and he’s still so little. Even after the night feeds he’s rarely asleep when I put him back down but resettles in a few mins, which makes me think he needs the quick feed.

Depends - we’ve had a bit of a run of illness and teething so he’s been a bit up and down. If it’s just tasty purées he’ll eat more but I’m trying to do more finger foods and ‘eat what we eat’ now he’s older but it’s hit and miss so probably not eating as much as he used to tbh. That’s why I’m a bit worried to cut the feeds.

That’s my worry, if he’s still waking for e.g a sip of water or a cuddle then I’m not gaining anything. My partner works away so much that someone else being able to do nights won’t be that much help to me, although I guess it allows for me to have a break when he is home.

Thank you and that’s both interesting and reassuring. I really value knowing that I can quickly resettle him with a bf, particularly when he’s feeling poorly, so I don’t really want to lose that, I’d just rather it wasn’t every night. I have a read a lot that they can often change around 18 months and wake less…so maybe there’s hope.