What's the right amount of extra curricular activities 7 year old?

[funnybeanz]

Hi

I'm in such a dilemma and have been for a while. I have a 7 year old son in year 2. He's doing well at school, although certainly not the top of the class, I'd say average or slightly above average in most subjects and definitely above average in reading. All good. He enjoys school and has some good friends.

He also does an hour and a half of football at the weekend. Isn't obsessive about football but does enjoy it and rarely says he doesn't want to go. It's cheap for the whole year so I just offer it to him and wouldn't make him go if he said he didn't want to.

He does half an hour of swimming lessons a week on a Tuesday evening. Again he enjoys this and it's a non negotiable for me.

I work 2 days a week so he goes to after school club until 4.15 on a Monday and Wednesday and sometimes does a school run club of those days instead of after school club, it's fairly flexible at his school. He's currently doing a tech club. He learns the ukelele on a Wednesday lunchtime.

He has now expressed an interest in basketball club and there's one close to us for an hour on a Thursday. In my opinion he is already doing too much. He isn't forced to do any of these (aside from the extra hour at school twice a week) if I work from home I could get him early but he usually likes to either play or go to the school run club. I feel it's important for him to come home and chill, play with his toys, whatever he wants to do. But when it's a club day it's more like home, dinner, quick play, bath, bed. He goes to bed around 7.30. I would love him to do the basketball because it's something none of his friends at school do and it would be good for him to make other friends and not compare himself all the time to school friends.

We are also supposed to do reading 5 times a week, spellings and maths homework and I'd like to support him with this as he's definitely not excelling, although he's fine so maybe I should chill about the homework given he's only 7.

What do other people think is a good amount of club/extra curricular activities each week for a 7 year old? It makes me sad that he doesn't just come home and chill. I also think learning to deal with boredom is good and I worry his time is just being filled with activities all the time.

But, don't want him to lose out on opportunities. Please help me find a good balance.

Ps it might feel different in the summer when the evenings are longer.

Thanks

My 7 year old daughter is pretty similar to your son.
She goes to her Dad’s on Mondays and back home at 7pm for bed.
She has swimming on Tuesdays for half an hour.
Brownies on Thursdays 5:30-7:00pm.
Overnight at her Dad’s on Fridays.
She also goes to afterschool club until 4:30pm Tuesday to Thursday because I’m at work.
She’s middle of the road at school though her teacher said she’s way above average in reading and comprehension.
If he chooses to do the basketball and it’s okay financially/time-wise for you, I’d say go for it!
He’s only 7, encourage him to explore those hobbies and interests… homework can wait!

I will add, my daughter is endlessly energetic so while she doesn’t cope with boredom well either, I’m trying to teach her to focus her energy on productivity 🥲 x

There is no right answer here, mine have always done lots. I personally think they enjoy and learn lots from after school activities and don’t think homework (apart from reading) is necessary for that age group. The reason to offer different activities is so they find their thing. You want them to find something they will carry on doing into adulthood.
My ds started karate at 6 and as an older teen is a black belt. It is such an easy activity to keep doing as all you need is your suit. No special shoes and there are clubs at university and in most areas for when he gets his first job.
Football is a great one as most high school boys play at lunchtime and obviously clubs offered at school are easy.
Also remember there’s lots on offer for this age group but opportunities drop away in their teens. Most still doing activities at 14 are already good at them like my black belt ds. You are laying the foundations now for an active teen rather than one drinking in the park or doom scrolling in their room.

I agree with you that amusing themselves is important and it also depends on the child.
My 7 year old does a similar amount to yours but is quite academic and must concentrate really hard at school as she comes home fairly knackered and quite emotional.
So I think it’s about finding a good balance for your child and also involving them in activities with longevity. The afterschool clubs may not be around post primary whereas a team building sport will be great into the teenage years for friendships and exercise.

Some kids love activities and do loads and some kids hate them and do none and most kids are somewhere in the middle.

My eldest (who is now at 6th form) has always done loads of activities and even during her GCSEs felt they were really important to give her a break. Whenever she has dropped an activity she's picked up another almost straight away. At that age she was doing brownies, swimming and football but was at wrap around care 4 days a week as well. She would have done more but we have 3DC and so we limited what she did, if it had been up to her she'd have done more. When she started secondary she was able to pick up more because school offered a wide variety and she ended up doing 8+ hours of sport plus a couple of other activities a week. At 6th form she's cut back what she does to the thingsthat are most important but she has an active social life as well.

If it's his choice and you don't have other DC that are impacted then I'd facilitate it as much as possible.

DD is Year 2 and usually does an activity each day during term time. I'm happy to facilitate it as they've all helped her grow in different ways, and helped her socialise with different groups. She goes to bed much later than your DS though, and I never use after school childcare so that allows plenty of time for free play after her activity and before bed.

My daughter is 7 and does a lot but also not in after school so still gets time to chill out before bed most nights.

Monday is piano straight after school for 30 minutes.
Tuesday is tennis straight after school for an hour.
Wednesday group swimming lessons for 30 minutes after school but we do homework while waiting.
Thursday is drama after dinner for 90 minutes.
Friday ice skating after dinner for an hour
Saturday 1-1 swimming lessons in early morning

It's a lot but she enjoys it and some is a substitute for after school as she doesn't go.

We only took up ice skating recently and I don't see it being a long term thing so may be dropped in a year or so.

She's an only child so likes to keep busy.

It's too much as it is

When does he chill out??

Some people chill out by doing activities. DD1 took up new hobbies in the pandemic she could do at home because she couldn't go to her clubs.

If he’s keen to do it then it’s right for him. Probably an extrovert who needs less alone time. As long as he’s not on screens much at home, he’ll still have time to learn to entertain himself. In the holidays if nothing else.