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6mo doesn't smile when she sees me

7 replies

SparklingJoyous · 22/01/2025 13:01

Hi I know my daughter is very young but when I've been away from her for a couple of hours, when I return she doesn't smile or even acknowledge me really? It's making me really upset it's happened a few times now. Other times she's fine e.g. First thing in the morning or during the day at home, she will be really communicative. She will look around for me at home when she wants a feed. Is this something to be worried about?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fanaticalfairy · 22/01/2025 16:33

No.

Notgivenuphope · 22/01/2025 16:35

Your very young baby is not trying to snub you or upset you. She hasn’t got that capacity yet!

UninterestingFirstPost · 22/01/2025 16:36

No, don’t waste a moment worrying about this.

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WeeOrcadian · 22/01/2025 16:37

OP, kindly, if this is making you upset, you need to try to gain some perspective on the bigger picture

She's a tiny baby still

This isn't about you

And no, not a cause for concern

fanaticalfairy · 22/01/2025 16:40

It's because she is secure in your bond, of course you came back, of course you're always there, she isn't worried about you leaving because you come back, and so she doesn't need to "be happy" that you're back, because there's never any doubt that you wouldn't.

Take it as a compliment.

Clumble · 22/01/2025 17:18

You've just brought back a vague memory where I think I recall having the same concern. Is this a milestone? I definitely remember mine not doing something along these lines that I had read he should and was worried about it.

In hindsight there was nothing to worry about it at all. He was and is completely fine. He smiles and laughs with me loads as a toddler - unless I build his stickle brick fire engine incorrectly (the most serious of crimes).

I know it's easier said than done but unless there's anything else concerning you I really wouldn't give this any mind.

I feel like the milestones and the ASQs and everything are great for screening and picking up early if maybe there's a pattern of things that suggests some intervention or support is needed. On the whole though, reading about what they "should" do at very specific ages and panicking about individual points on a checklist just saps away enjoyment.

I remember worrying because mine wasn't cooing when he was "supposed" to and the HV frowned and made a comment implying I wasn't interacting with him enough (which was completely wrong - it was in fact probably the opposite)! It was so silly looking back. He'd only been in the world a couple of months and clearly nobody told him he was expected to say "goo" yet. He did it a few weeks later.

I remember worrying he wasn't rolling over and following this YouTube video using a toy to try to make him roll. 😳

He didn't answer to his name for absolutely ages. He even went for a hearing test and was fine. I think he just didn't see a good enough reason to stop what he was doing and look.

He still has somewhat selective hearing now. He ignores you if he's absorbed in something, especially if you happen to be talking about getting pyjamas on, but if you whisper "park" from the other room he will hear it. Generally though in conversation once you have his attention his eye contact is good and he enjoys a back and forth chat.

He did other things quickly. He sat stood and cruised and walked early. He's met most of his toddler language milestones early. He can focus on one game for a long time. He is great at playing make believe and coming up with stories. He is excellent at putting puzzles together.

And on it goes like that. Right now he is terrible at using cutlery. Like really terrible. Am I worried? Not really. He just likes to eat with his hands it seems so hasn't had much practice. He evidently doesn't see the value of a spoon when he can just dunk his fingers in his stew and fish out the pieces he likes.

I imagine he won't be sat at his own wedding dinner shovelling things into his mouth with his fists and will eventually learn so never mind it. If there were other fine motor skills he struggled with perhaps I would be worried and raise it.

I think try and relax and enjoy this time and if there's something that keeps nagging at the back of your mind then by all means bring it up but try to not compare to "should" too much.

Before you know it this will likely be a vague memory at the back of your mind that you completely forgot about until you see a post on Mumsnet.

SparklingJoyous · 22/01/2025 17:49

Notgivenuphope · 22/01/2025 16:35

Your very young baby is not trying to snub you or upset you. She hasn’t got that capacity yet!

I get that. My partner went shopping with her today for a couple of hours, when I met up with them, she noticed me and looked at me but just had a complete blank expression. It's like I was a stranger. No smile. Nothing. I was just wondering if this was to be expected. I am her main caregiver, currently on mat leave so she is with me most of the time.

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