Desperate help needed with sleep

[Superstorefan123]

Baby is 5 months old and has been in the 4 month sleep regression for nearly two months now. The last two weeks have been particularly awful - long wake periods in the middle of the night/impossible to put down/up every hour. I am barely sleeping to the point I am becoming quite ill.

Any advice would be so welcome :( desperate not to cosleep or sleep train but I am honestly becoming dangerously tired so willing to try anything.

For context baby is EBF but will take expressed milk. Baby can occasionally lay down and fall asleep with patting but it’s inconsistent. Feeds often day and night - normally the easiest way to get him to sleep.

thanks in advance!

Also to add any book recommendations or method recommendations would be greatly appreciated - I can’t do cry it out or similar as I just don’t have the capacity/personality, but all other suggestions welcome.

Also any help with schedule welcome - baby currently in bed 9pm-8am approx with 3x 30 min naps.

Looks like you have a few things going on here - maybe crap naps in the day time (90 mins isn't a lot of day time sleep), and a baby who doesn't yet know how to self-settle for some night wakes. I remember month six being very stressful for naps, my baby would be hysterical with tiredness and still not sleep.

I started with getting the morning nap to work - wait for sleepy cues then breastfeed, story, sleeping bag, allowed to fuss by themself for up to five minutes (not crying). It's self settling practice but lower stakes than at night. You can also try to resettle them when they wake to connect naps. Mine just had to grow in to this around 7 months.

If you want a gentle method for teaching to self-settle at night, pick up put down and chair method both allow for lots of comforting. We did shush pat rather PUPD as we quickly found being picked up for a cuddle upset my baby more!

I am using the chair method on my eight month old since she developed a bit of separation anxiety at seven months. We get a no-cry bed time or only a minute of crying with a hand on her chest. We then comfort back to sleep for all night wakes this way too.

You can also do some gentle night weaning IF you want to, by only feeding for certain wakes (eg after five hours since last feed, then three, then two) if the feeds baby is taking are very short. Perhaps send your partner in for other wakes?!