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?move schools

9 replies

Seahorseraces · 20/01/2025 07:44

I have an 8yo DS who is in our nearest local school. It has mixed year groups but the years don’t seem to ‘mix’ that much socially and there are around 20 kids per year.

I’m always told by teachers that he gets on with everyone and I think this is true he is well like generally. The problem is he is hardly ever the ‘chosen’ child. So this year he has only been invited to 2 parties. Other kids have openly talked about parties so they are definitely going on 😔. The girls just seem to do girls only parties which is unfortunate because he would count them as his friends. A couple of the boys have left this year and it’s left even fewer social possibilities.

I’m wondering whether I should move him. Does anyone have any experience of this kind of situation? If he was being bullied it would be an easy decision but he’s generally happy day to day and doesn’t complain of being on his own at school. Academically he’s flying. I’m worried it might be starting to erode his self esteem.

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rubyslippers · 20/01/2025 07:48

I wouldn’t move a child for that
he is being invited to things
why can’t he invite girls over for a play date?
join the scouts or other club where he could have a group outside of school

SweedieLie · 20/01/2025 07:49

he’s generally happy day to day and doesn’t complain of being on his own at school. Academically he’s flying

Just read what you've written op. You'd be crazy to move him. He's no more likely to be the friend chosen for parties in a new school but imo you'd risk his happiness by moving him.

Try to gently build on his bond with classmates if you can - ask him if he'd like to have a friend over or take them out for pizza or whatever.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 20/01/2025 07:53

He’s happy and achieving well but you’re considering moving him due to parties?!

What if you moved him and though he was invited to parties he wasn’t happy and didn’t learn as well as he currently does?

honestly you’re looking for a problem that isn’t there- your child is happy, life is rarely perfect.

Seahorseraces · 20/01/2025 08:00

We do invite people round including girls to his parties and they don’t reciprocate and invite him to theirs. This stopped after reception.

He is now regularly upset that he isn’t being invited when he is inviting them and they are seemingly friends.

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Seahorseraces · 20/01/2025 08:03

For context there will now be 6 boys so it is excluding him by not inviting him as numbers wise it’s not like they’d have to invite lots.

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Magamaga · 20/01/2025 08:04

Parties are the only social occasions. Does he invite anyone round to play?

watchuswreckthemic · 20/01/2025 08:08

Do not move him so he can attend more parties. If it's important to him then help him widen his social circle.

iwillfghhjjj · 20/01/2025 08:13

If he is being bullied or isolated then yes I would move him otherwise keep encouraging friendships but don't make friendships the be all. Not everyone has big friendship groups and if he feels inferior because of this it will impact on his esteem.

Are there any clubs/hobbies he could join out of school to encourage different friendships. ?

Seahorseraces · 20/01/2025 08:54

And yes we have children round. 1 or 2 reciprocate but that’s it. Otherwise they are happy to accept invites and seem to enjoy themselves here 🤷‍♀️

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