Bedroom split for 3 kids

[Flopsy145]

What set up would you go for?
1 DSS age 9 (EOW for 2 nights, longer over summers etc)
1 DD age 3 almost 4
1 DS age 6 months

We have a 3 bed, our room is largest but long and thin, that im currently sharing with DS until he stops breastfeeding around 1 year hopefully.
DD in smallest room although it's still spacious, recently decorated.
dSS shares his room with his dad's gaming set up, a proper man cave.

We're planning on getting a summer house situation in the garden and gaming set up will move there. My plan had then been for the boys to share and my DD keep her own room.
We're looking to move in 3 years otherwise would have done a loft conversion and added fourth room.

Is this the best set up?

I’d have the littles share in the bigger room and DSS in the smaller room until you move to a 4 bedroom house. 4 and 1 together until 7 and 4 is better than 10 and 1 or 13 and 4 together in my opinion, but it’s hard when he’s only there for four days a month to justify having the room empty, too.

Let DSS keep their own room minus the gaming and when you are ready to move the baby out your room put them in with their little sister.

DSS is too old to share with either of the little ones. When you are a part time child in a family I think it’s really important to have your own room if it’s at all possible.

by the time the little ones are old enough to be wanting their own space you might have a different set up so cross that bridge then.

This

If I'm reading this correctly, dss is with you for 2 nights every 14 days. If he has his own room it would be empty the rest of the time. That's a poor use of space.

The two boys should share.

Yes, same. Little ones sharing is better than a 10 year old and a 1 year old sharing. I’d have the younger ones in the larger room and dss in the small room. I’d also use dss room for bedtime stories etc when he isn’t there so they can be read to separately.

This is my worry that it's just sitting there empty, obviously if he was with us 50/50 then it wouldn't be a question.
The other thing I'm not sure about is my DD, I don't entirely trust her on her own with the baby as she sometimes treats him like a doll. For the most part baby finds it hilarious and it's a light hearted game but in the 20 seconds she was alone with him the other day she wrapped him up in a blanket, face and all. She knows it was wrong and was told etc, but I just worry about them being alone together over night even with a baby monitor. Although baby would be 1 and in a cot I suppose. DSS on the other hand is so gentle and wouldn't be a concern at all. We did ask him as were talking about what to do and he has said he would rather share with his brother than his sister 😂

I might look at doing that half and half room split for youngest two in our room then move man cave to smaller room. And summer house as home gym 👀😂

Smallest room - single cabin bed (for 9yo to store his stuff in) and the cot for baby. When dss comes to stay, baby bunks in your room in a travel cot for those nights.

Medium room is dds permanently.

Largest room is yours.

Why does your dh need a gaming room? Surely a household with young dc doesn't leave so much time for gaming that a separate room needs to be dedicated to it?

I think this is probably best tbh.

He games with DSS when here, and when DSS is not here the room is empty so he games when kids are in bed. But I would only allocate gaming if it was DSS' room too, not on its own

I think this sounds feasible. Although smallest room would be tight for single bed and cot, so may have to keep DD in smallest room..

DSS needs his own room

For 4 nights a month it feels like wasted space on the other 27ish days a month. Appreciate hs definitely needs his own space, but this could be established still with sharing a room. At his home with his mum he has no siblings and a huge room to himself so it's not like he always has to share everywhere he goes

The younger two should share or if you're worried keep them with you a bit longer

You clearly don't want DSS have his own room OP so not sure why you asked

You can't have DSS share a room with a baby. That's not fair and he'll rapidly get tired of that as baby goes to bed earlier etc. And he'll have to creep in trying not to wake baby and give it a year or two and DSS will start sleeping later etc.
The 2 little ones will need to share the larger room until you can create some extra space. Put a camera monitor to keep an eye on DD. I know loads of people who have a DD and DS share a room when they were young. You can easily do it until DD is 8 or so

Is there any way to subdivide/ zone off the middle room? Lots of clever Pinterest ideas. A cabin bed with desk/ wardrobe for DSS. I’d have the little one in with you/ his sister once he’s a bit older on the nights DS stays.

You said it's longer in holidays so there's not many months where is 27 days wasted.
If you make him share with a baby you'll end up with him not visiting longer term. Not many kids that age want to share with a 1 year old

Why are you only thinking about this now rather than before you got pregnant?

If we had a 4 bed I would love it, but hes hardly ever in his room bar gaming with DH. He'll actually sit on my bed and chill a lot of the time. I would definitely have considered the younger two sharing but spoke to DH and he feels boys should share, probably because he shared with his two brothers and his sister had her own room growing up.

It's always been discussed and we had thought the boys would share, DSS was fine with this, but lately I've been looking at other options

Generally it’s a better idea for boys to share and girls to share, especially when older, but the age gap feels like it trumps other issues at the moment here. It’s not so much “boys sharing” as “high school kid sharing with toddler”.

whatever you do, I’d find a way to use all rooms while dss isn’t around, even just for playing and stories.

Thank you, yes appreciate it DS was the older one and DD the baby wouldn't be an issue really but we are where we are 😂

My other thought is DS goes in with DD, who wants a bunk bed, when DSS is here. So he has his own room but DSS has his own space when he's here.

DSS needs his own room, if you try and force sharing with a baby then you’ll probably find he’s far less enthusiastic about staying, which would be a shame for everyone.

I’d see if DD would like to share, at her age she might actually want to. If she does then problem solved, 2 little ones in the big room and small room for DSS. If she isn’t enthusiastic about it then I agree that having a room sit empty 12 nights out of 14 doesn’t make much sense, so I’d give her the bigger room and try to configure the smaller room so that you can get a bed for DSS and a cot for the baby- I would consider a loft bed and a smaller 60x120 cot if you’re tight on space. But when DSS is actually staying then baby goes in with you or his sister- invest in a really good travel cot so he’s comfy.

Even if DSS is fine to share now, it's not sustainable longer term when he has homework for example and needs to be in his own room. I do not see how you can accommodate a baby and 10 year old bedtimes and wake times either