Bored 5 year old

[Merrow]

DS1 is 5 (almost 6) and is complaining a lot about being bored. I can see that partly he's clocked that it winds me up a bit, but also he seems to be at a bit of an in-between stage where he is genuinely at a loss at what to do.

He used to happily play with trains / cars / transformers. He seems to have outgrown this, but not really grown into anything. He likes Lego, but doesn't want to do it all the time. When we go to the local park there's not any climbing frames or things that he likes, but he also doesn't like football (which most children his age that go seem to do). He's never been a child interested in crafts, or sitting at the table colouring in. He loves being read to, but his reading isn't good enough to read for pleasure himself yet.

He's incredibly sociable, and what he really wants to do is meet up and play with his friends all the time. In the absence of this his main solution is to wind up his little brother. I'm at a bit of a loss of what to do with him! It was easier when I just had to pretend to be a station announcer.

Does he go to any clubs? He might like gymnastics, or parkour, or swimming. If he likes being read to, maybe a yoto box? Or a cheaper alternative would be a CD player with CDs he can pop on himself. We used to bring a frisbee to the park because my DS never used to be keen on football, and he enjoyed throwing and chasing that.

For a long time if mine were bored I'd offer them a duster and offer to time them whilst they cleaned the skirting boards. I can honestly say that mine have hardly ever said that they were bored

If he can read you could make a jar full of things to do. I used to do this at the start of the summer holidays. It had suggestions all folded up and put on a jar where they could go and take one if they needed a bit of inspiration.

He goes to beavers and stagecoach, both of which he loves. And swimming which I force upon him! He's not the most physical child - he's not like some children that run for the sheer joy of running - but frisbee might get his interest, thank you!

He's has a yoto player and it has been really good, but I think we're both struggling for when he wants to do something that's a bit more involved/engaged than sitting still, but a bit less than putting on the disco light and having a dance party.

I have tried the cleaning tactic, which gets the quite reasonable response "but that's boring too!" He is pretty helpful in the kitchen now though. The jar is a good idea, what sort of things did you have on it? I need some inspiration too! Once I've offered Lego / reading / puzzles / games I'm a bit stuck. And I think the only thing DS1 would add would be TV!

I'm old fashioned enough to think that it can be good to be bored. You are the parent, not a professional entertainer, if he's bored then he can work out what to do.

Honestly it depends on the day what my response is! Often I go for the "thanks for letting me know" approach, sometimes I offer a suggestion.

I posted yesterday because actually I felt a bit sorry for him - he was rattling around the house and nothing was clearly quite right, while his brother was having a whale of a time climbing up and down a toddler step we have in the kitchen. At which point obviously DS1 decided he had urgent need of the step and ended up getting told off. Then I bundled them up and got us all out, because usually getting out the house sorts things mood wise, but he was just a morose little figure on a one of those horses on springs designed for much smaller children.

Let the boredom happen. It’s the very best thing for brain development - critical thinking, problem solving. Boredom is a gift to children.
Instead of offering solutions or suggesting things to do, say to him ‘oh you’re feeling bored? I can’t wait to see what you come up with’ and let his brain get creative.

We used to get this a lot with my 6yo but interestingly since we had our third child a few months ago it's mostly gone away again. I think some of that is that I have less energy to engage in any back and forth cos I'm busy with the baby and also our middle child has grown older too (3) and they play together better now which helps. How old is your younger one?

I tried the suggestion box thing with my DC around 5 btw for the same reason and it didn't work. They were dead excited to help make it, then used it like twice and then would just whine that they didn't want to do any of those things etc so I got rid.

My 6yo has always liked arty/crafty things though to be fair so that does make things a bit easier.

My six year old says he's bored quite often too, but I don't really engage with it. It's good for them to be bored, they'll use their brain and think of something to do.

I offer housework if something needs doing, and sometimes he'll do some hoovering or put his clothes away. But basically ignoring it works best here. Admittedly I don't have the stress of another child in the mix.

Well, he woke up this morning feeling grotty, so I suspect a brewing illness played some role in the behaviour at the weekend.

DS2 is definitely a complicating factor. He's almost 2, and sometimes they play very well together, but more often DS1 either intentionally winds him up (quite easy to do) or does genuinely try to join in with whatever DS2 is doing in ways that just don't work and ends up with both of them being frustrated. At the moment leaving him to be bored almost always means him trying to interact with DS2, and the success rate just isn't there at the moment!

@Merrow ah, I guarantee they will play together better when the youngest is 3. I find they need to be around 3 to grasp the games properly a lot of the time. Also then your eldest is also older and better able to be patient and understanding when the little one doesn't understand a game properly etc. Don't get me wrong, mine at 3 and 6 also do fight a lot now too, but they do play together a lot as well. They're currently playing with a magnatiles type thing building stuff together while the baby contact naps on me and DH is cooking.

I have tried the cleaning tactic, which gets the quite reasonable response "but that's boring too!" He is pretty helpful in the kitchen now though. The jar is a good idea, what sort of things did you have on it? I need some inspiration too! Once I've offered Lego / reading / puzzles / games I'm a bit stuck. And I think the only thing DS1 would add would be TV!

Make a film

Draw a picture of himself

Build something from Lego

Do 20 star jumps

Read a book to your brother

Hoover the hall (they don't all have to be fun)

Ultimately though it's best to try and not let the phrase "I'm bored" be so triggering. Like others have said it's actually good for DC to he bored at times.

You could say something like, "I get bored at times too". "Oh ok" or "ok, what are you planning on doing?"