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Toddler advice!

3 replies

Roseystars · 19/01/2025 10:48

My son is 2 years old, he is a really loving boy and his speech is fantastic but still he is just a toddler and can become quite a handful sometimes. I actively try to be a calm parent who is understanding and doesn’t shout etc.

Today however I am a bit short tempered which I think is because i’m pregnant suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum and pelvic girdle pain. My son is up every 2 hours through the night and I never get a full nights sleep other than once a month when my mum will have him.

This morning I was exhausted as my son was up at 11.30pm, 1am, 3am and then he woke up at 4.30am to start his day. Around 8.30am he was so tired, rubbing his eyes, screaming at nothing and just irritable. He had eaten, had a wash and all of that so I figured let’s go lay down. I brought him into our bed (dad is at work) and told him I am going to tell him a story. He was so upset saying “no mummy I want to go downstairs” but he often fights sleep so I kept laying him back down gently reassuring him. He was NOT impressed and got really upset but I was struggling to even move due to the sickness so i had a bucket which i’m spitting in to. Also the pelvic pain is hard to deal with when chasing a toddler so I really wanted him to lay down. He did not want to do it and eventually he got so mad that he just started hitting me repeatedly in the face, grabbing my lips, pinching and scratching. I told him no, moved him calmly and said hitting hurts. He obviously continued since he didn’t want to be in bed and he had told me that already a lot of times. I know I should have got us up but I was desperate and eventually I raised my voice shouting “no” which made his burst into tears. I felt bad so I said sorry and tried to comfort him but he continued to hit me so I held his arm and said you cannot hit me it’s naughty. He was so upset by that and I eventually got us up to come downstairs. I think I was a bit cold the two minutes after we got up and I didn’t really say anything because I felt so built up inside.
I feel terrible that one I shouted and secondly I said he was being naughty.

We came to the living room and I apologized to him explaining he cannot hit however I could have dealt with it differently. He again obviously does not understand all of that due to his age but I just felt terrible. I gave him lots of cuddles but he didn’t seem to care and just wanted to play. I put the TV on which I also always feel guilty doing as he hardly had any screen time prior to this pregnancy but sometimes it’s sort of how I cope. So now we are sat watching Postman Pat having a cuddle but I worry how will I cope with a baby AND toddler?!

I suppose i’m just posting this to see if there are any other pregnant mums out there dealing with 2 year olds and how are you coping? Am I alone with this or are other women feeling a breaking point some days?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SouthLondonMum22 · 19/01/2025 18:55

I'd try and get his sleep sorted before baby gets here because otherwise, you are going to be constantly up at night with both of them. It will make you feel better to tackle anything else too, including the usual tricky behaviour.

You raised your voice because he was hitting you, that's a normal human reaction and you said that hitting is naughty, which it is. Don't feel bad about that.

ohhollyfred · 19/01/2025 19:11

Fellow HG sufferer here with a 4 year old and 2. Year old so I have been right where you are. Definitely give yourself some slack here HG is hell and parenting is nearly impossible to do at the same time. When baby arrives you will be absolutely fine what's more you will be better because trust me a newborn and a toddler is waaaaay easier than HG and a toddler - you are doing so well!!

Roseystars · 20/01/2025 07:45

@SouthLondonMum22 I know you are right, we really need to sort his sleep out! A year ago we did the disappearing chair method advised by the HV which worked but soon as he’s unwell or goes to my mums we have to start all over again. We are thinking about getting a double floor bed before baby arrives so that if he wakes then his dad can sleep next to him if needed. We don’t mind sharing a bed with him but it’s not practical right now because I am so uncomfortable already 😆
Thanks - I woke up today feeling better and just have just been very sensitive yesterday. I know he hit because he had asked to go downstairs a lot of times so I should have listened but in those moments I really need to lay down!

@ohhollyfred God I hope so! It’s been so hard. I keep thinking this isn’t forever but the days can feel like eternity when i’m really unwell. Thank you 🥰 a bit of reassurance really helps because it’s so easy to feel like this will go on forever!
We will have a similar gap to what you have with your 2. How do you find parenting now they are 2 & 4?

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