5 month old waking hourly - desperate for ideas

[ByDreamyMintNewt]

Hi,

Really struggling with my 5 month old's sleep and I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions. He is my third baby so shouldn't be my first rodeo. I'm currently writing this at 5:24am with him asleep in my arms after being awake most of the night.

A typical day:

• Wake around 7 when my older two get up
• Around 8:45 nap in the carrier on the school run. This is usually around 45 minutes.
• Then awake around 2 hours before napping in the pram (need to be ready to pick up daughter from nursery). He will often nap for about 2 hours here, although might need a quick rock and dummy to resettle a couple of times. For both these first two naps he can fall asleep initially without a dummy.
• Awake another couple of hours before having his final nap in the carrier for about half an hour.
• Bed time between 6:30 - 7:30 depending on naps. Usually just over 2 hours after his last nap.

At bed I put him down with his dummy in. Sometimes he will fall asleep without me and sometimes he needs shushing and patting. He usually falls asleep fairly quickly. I often have to stop him knocking his dummy out with his hands. I've tried taking his dummy away doing pick up put down but he doesn't stop crying until he gets his dummy.

He sometimes wakes around 45 mins after bed time but is usually easy to resettle, sometimes even just a shush is enough. I can usually get him back to sleep without his dummy at this point just with shushing and patting. He'll then sleep a couple of hours before needing resettling again. Then after that it is just constant - every 45 mins to an hour needing resettling/dummy/having my hands resting on him in the nezt2me/stopping him knocking or spitting dummy out. I pick him up and give him a cuddle if he's really not settling otherwise,

I feed him (breastfeeding) generally at about midnight and 4/5am. Sometimes he might go down for a couple of hours after that if I'm lucky .Comfort feeding isn't too much of a thing as I have a very heavy let down so I think he gets a lot of milk quixkly. He will sometimes take a bottle.

Please any tips of changes I can make because I'm starting to lose my sanity!, And please just don't suggest cosleeping as it's not something I feel comfortable with and he also only seems to want to settle on me in unsafe positions rather than safely next to me.

Thank you

Also to add when I cuddle him in the night, if I put him down too soon he will then be awake instantly and the shushing dummy dance starts again. Tonight he was awake between about 2:30-3:30, because he wasn't crying I tried to leave him be until he did get upset, and had to rest my hand on his tummy (dummy in) until he was asleep and then gradually slowly remove my hand... Only for him to wake pretty much exactly an hour later, which point I gave him a feed. He never really settled properly after that and now we find ourselves here. Feeling pretty desperate.

Around this age, I had to cold turkey get rid of the dummy, because LO could take it out but would not put it back in - after one night of being up every 45 minutes, the dummies went. Solidarity, this phase is really tough. We did shush pat to sleep instead, and the same for night wakes before 2am - breastfeed for the first night wake after 2am, then back to shush-pat until 6am (then I would feed again).

That sounds absolutely exhausting. Have you tried upping his feeds during the day so that you offer every 2 to 3 hours?

Is he on solids at all?

My baby years are a long time ago but I distinctly remember at 5 months with DS being absolutely on my knees.

Mine too but my distinct memory is solids making the situation worse, not better

Yes @TinyMouseTheatre, I more meant it wasn't necessarily something OP was doing wrong.

Yes I think I need to get rid. My other two had dummies at this age but if they woke for them then I would put them in and they'd go straight back to sleep! Whereas he needs it to go to sleep but doesn't actually seem to want it, or it's not really helping that much after the initial bit of the night at least. I just don't know how to take it away from him without him screaming for ages before bed!

Hi, thanks for replying, he has loads of milk in the day, so really don't think he's overly hungry at night. No solids yet.

Just to add, for most of the wakes, I'm putting dummy in and shush patting, sometimes have to hold his hands away from his face to stop him knocking his dummy out. He constantly rubs/scratches his face and head while he's going to sleep. Takes a long time to get him back to sleep and then often as soon as I move my hand off him be wakes. If I pick him up, he will fall back to sleep quickly but I can't sit up all night with him in my arms.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Hope you have a better night tonight

I'd get rid of the dummy cold turkey. We did this around 4m cos I was sick of putting it back in all night and it definitely helped. Good luck, they soon forget at this age!

Waking very frequently (hourly or more) overnight can sometimes have a medical cause. Potential red flags would be snoring, mouth breathing, extreme restlessness in sleep and/or being very sweaty when sleeping.

If not it could be a change in routine is needed. Babies from 4-12 months need an average of 12-16 hours sleep in 24 hours i.e. naps and nighttime. Currently you are aiming for 3h 15m in the day plus 11.5-12.5h overnight and this may just be too much sleep. An easy place to start might be not resettling at the second nap to extend it so long. With 3 naps of 30-60 minutes max. each, daytime sleep would be reduced and this might make nights better. Or if you want to try to keep that longer middle nap, you could push bedtime to a consistently later time of around 8pm and see if that improves things. I would make one change at a time and give it a couple of weeks to see if there is any impact.

I would either get rid of afternoon nap or if you think he still needs that then a later bed time. It sounds like he is sleeping lots during the day.

I would also think he might be hungry & try some baby rice. It's not popular on here to suggest it - but there's always people posting on here saying they have a baby waking lots at this age.

Hey, so I just did this with a sleep consultant with my 6 month old as was doing a similar dummy dance every night! The method we used was:

At bedtime when sleep pressure is highest, put him down without the dummy. When he cries let him cry for 3 minutes (you can choose up to 10 but 3 is the minimum to allow to self settle). Then sit next to him and do 5 minutes of shushing. Then add in some kind of comfort like patting his tummy. Keep doing that until he falls asleep. I'd also suggest introducing a comforter like a muslin or teddy that can become his new soother. It's helped my DS a lot since he lost dummy.

If he wakes in the night repeat this process. I'd suggest you have some help for the other kids or do this at the weekend as the first night can be tough. My DS did really well though and slept through on the 3rd night. I also stopped night feeds but he was 6 months and ready to stop as wasn't hungry at breakfast time.

Also, only do 3 mins wait if he's crying. If he's just fussing and doing intermittent shouts then don't intervene. He may go back to sleep himself even if it takes an hour.
Good luck!

we had to get rid of DC 2 dummy. To be honest I don’t really remember it much (she’s 7 now), but she was also waking every hour and I was losing my mind. DC1 had a dummy and slept well, so I was keen for DC2 to have one.

I do remember that it didn’t take too long. One night. She still wasn’t a great sleeper afterwards, but at least it seemed to help with the hourly waking!

Had to get rid of DD dummy at 3 months as it was just causing too many wake ups. She soon adjusted and was a better sleeper a few weeks on.
Other things to try is baby rice in the day as they are 5 months.
If those made no difference it would be sleep training which for me meant not staying there for ages each time they wake. Susshing and patting the first time, but once you are sure they are not hungry leaving them to grizzle / cry and self settle for at least 5 mins before going back in to resettle. It’s hard but usually makes a difference in 3 nights.

Thanks for the suggestions all! Had a slightly better night - in that we had a three hour stretch and a two hour stretch at the start of the night..

I will be starting some solids over the next couple of weeks but don't think he's overly hungry as I said, he's often not really interested in milk when he wakes in the morning.

@angelpie33 he does snore a little bit and is fairly restless but not to be out of the ordinary I don't think? I'll try cutting down the middle of the day nap and see if it makes any difference. He can't really handle more than max 2.5hrs awake so it's hard to push bedtime back further.

@Givemepickles thanks that's really helpful! I might see if the older two can go to my in-laws for a night and give it a go at the weekend. I wanted to hold out until 6 months for any kind of 'sleep training' but things are really not sustainable as they are. I suppose a few weeks are just arbitrary though. What kind of comforter have you used? I'm nervous of what he can safely have.

Thanks for the advice @WhiteLily1 and @Caterina99. Do you remember any more of how you actually took the dummy away? Did you sleep train? I've tried getting him down without it and replacing with rocking etc, but he won't allow it without getting very upset. He can fall asleep in the day in pram/carrier without it though.

Thanks. Do you remember any particular strategy you used to help settle them when you got rid?

I’ve had 3 children and DD was the first and the only one I took the dummy away for. The other two I persevered and they got that hang of it over the following weeks / months. You have two options really to take and go through the crying and unsettled phase to be rid. Or keep as you are and wait the months out until they are able to keep it in for longer / replace it themselves.
There isn’t really any magic answer just trying a number of possibilities and waiting the weeks out until things change.
The one thing I do think though is that if baby needs you every single time they stir they won’t be able to self settle without you. And that becomes a total nightmare.
Personally I would introduce baby rice to make sure hunger wasn’t an option. After that it would be sleep training - leaving them for 5 mins and going in to resettle, going out and leaving for another 5 mins etc or longer if you can.
Had to do this with my DD - it was hard but she just wouldn’t settle at all and no one was getting any sleep. I did 5 mins, 10 mins and 15 mins. Repeated every 15 mins. Took 3 nights and she settled so much better - we all slept.

Ah okay, I think often snoring won't be a concern but I would be aware that when occurring alongside frequent night waking sometimes it can be related to issues with tonsils or adenoids (or I think very infrequently it can be sleep apnea). So something you might want to keep an eye on.

Hopefully the changes you're looking to make will have an effect 🤞🏻

@ByDreamyMintNewt

I will be starting some solids over the next couple of weeks but don't think he's overly hungry as I said, he's often not really interested in milk when he wakes in the morning.

Well presumably you feed him during the night so he has got used to snacking & won't be starving hungry first thing?

I think you need to rule out hunger & sort out daytime naps before you contemplate any sort of sleep training. It would be cruel to leave him hungry & awake.

We also used to do a dream feed around 10pm which would avoid night waking.

@ByDreamyMintNewt I use one of those comforters that has a small cuddly toy and a little blanket attached. I don't actually think it's probably officially safe but he already had it and I was/am confident he can move it off his face when he wants to. However I've known friends to just use a muslin burp cloth which are usually thin and breathable. Try and find one with a label on it, they seem to love sucking the labels!

Re your point that he's not interested in milk in the morning, to me that's a clear sign he's not waking out of hunger and is ready to drop at least one night feed. He should have a good appetite on waking, not starving but be ready to go. Try and wait til 6.30 or later for his first feed so you don't encourage early waking. Our sleep consultant had us drop the night feeds, dream feed, dummy and co sleeping all in one go and I couldn't imagine it but now a month on his sleep is transformed. He has a good appetite in the morning and his day feeds have improved a lot as well as his sleep.

Hi, I said in my first post that he generally has two feeds a night. I'm absolutely not trying to night wean, just not wake every hour and need resettling. Based on how he feeds, I don't think hunger is the issue, but I will gradually introduce some solids to see if it makes any difference.

@ByDreamyMintNewt

Is there any set pattern to him waking up? Could you pre-empt by feeding him just before he would usually wake up?

huckleberrycare.com/blog/5-month-old-sleep-schedule-and-development

Maybe try tracking using this? It will probably all change by next week 😉

I used to cuddle her til she was sleepy then lay her down in a dark room, rub her tummy, do some shhing and she eventually used to nod off