Five year old comes into our bed at night

[BelJo]

Hi everyone,
Has anyone any tips on getting a hug-loving 5 year old to sleep in their own bed? She's warm, she's comfy, she's not hungry etc, but wakes every night without fail and comes into our bed. This is not great for anyone's sleep... has anyone tips on overcoming this please? I've tried putting her back to bed but if I don't then stay with her she cries (she's a pretty strong/determined character); a reward in the morning if she stays in her bed (small piece of choc after breakfast); and a star chart with a very nice reward, but nothing is working. She just says she wants to come in for a snuggle. Many thanks.

Keep putting her back to bed and go to your own bed. Don't fanny about. Say no more. Explain you want to sleep by yourself.

Just get a bigger bed.

Our DD did this. 4 year old. I ended up jumping in her bed so DW could at least sleep! Also a crap habit as my sleep wasn’t good obvs. Then I had an accident and could no longer sleep in her bed so explained every night that she had to sleep in her own. Took about a week of nighttime discussions before she got the hang of it! All good since!

It's very normal for small kids to want the comfort of sleeping with a parent, they all grow out of it eventually. If your bed isn't big enough for you all to sleep comfortably in it, could one of you go into her bed when she comes in at night? We often do this and it's by far the quickest and simplest way for everyone to get a good night's sleep.

Don’t feel you have to bed share if you don’t want to, I could never get any sleep if my ds was in our bed!

Super nanny does a “back to bed routine”, not easy you will need a lot of patience,resilience and persistence! But it will work.

It's a stage, won't last long. Neither will the hugs bit, it's all gone before you can blink..

Absolutely this. She’s old enough to understand and you shouldn’t be bribing her or cajoling her.

It’s okay for her to cry.

I just take her back, lie down with her, we both fall back asleep then I wake up a bit later and creep out. I end up being awake for about only about an extra 5 minutes a night. Path of least resistance every time on this one for me.

This is my life! Our oldest who just turned 5 has done this since he started sleeping in a bed rather than cot. We have tried EVERYTHING over the last few years, nothing has ever worked. He seems to need the reassurance and just comes back. So we gave up and bought a super king sized bed. He won’t be doing it when he’s 15 (I sincerely hope!) so maybe I should just enjoy the closeness whilst he still wants to cuddle his mom. Mind, our bedroom is now about 80% bed but we actually sleep and I’ll take that

She will grow out of it. I tried everything with my dd and nothing worked except time.

She is 12 now and I miss it. I regret the time and energy I wasted.

It's easy to look back with rose-tinted glasses. My mind has blocked the terrible sleep deprivation

DS2 came in persistently between the age of four and five, sometimes up to five nights a week. Lots of star charts etc. In the end (and when he was probably winding it down anyway) we told him he could have a mid-sleeper for his sixth birthday if he stopped getting up at night. He loved his new bed and has slept there ever since.

I don't miss it one iota. We now all get an unbroken night's sleep and it's wonderful. We have plenty of hugs during the day.

Can you get a small matress for on the floor in your room? I.e if she comes into your room she can sleep on the floor. Some kids just find having the option comforting.

I agree with buy a bigger bed. Super kings are amazing if you have the space. It is completely normal and natural for small children not to want to sleep alone.

this! If bedsharing isn’t working for you, a small camp bed where you can be close and hold hands might do the trick to give her the comfort and closeness but preserve some space

Aw…it was just a normal part of parenting for us…either waking up with one of the kids in the bed or us banging our head off the wall in the morning forgetting we’d snuggled them back and fallen asleep in theirs! (Sometimes an upper bunk bed 🤦🏻‍♀️). It was knackering but we loved it.

Like most things, they grow out of it.

As it bothers you, I think the advice to keep taking her back to her own bed is the only way to resolve this.

We co-slept with ours but they were done with our bed by 2, I’m pretty sure had they not been happy to sleep alone, we’d have just gone with it for however long it took.

Hmm..,
We have a 9 year old that still comes into our bed!
It becomes more of a pain the older they get. Wish we'd nipped it in the bud.